Luz Viray laid a pair of boots at the base of the Lady Columbia statue at Punchbowl on Sunday in memory of her son, Don, who died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan three years ago.

“We love him so much. We miss him,” said Viray, who, along with her husband, Leo, brings fresh flowers to her son’s grave at the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific every Saturday morning.

The Viray family was among dozens of families attending the Sunday ceremony on Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day — a national day to honor those who died while serving in the military, and their families.

During the ceremony, family members laid boots adorned with American flags, lei and pictures of the deceased beneath the Columbia statue and gathered around a grassy island in the center of the cemetery to dedicate a “lei of remembrance” hundreds of feet long to their deceased loved ones.

The national day is named after the star on the service flag displayed by family members of those serving in the military. A gold star on the flag represents a family member who died while serving in the military.

Despite the intervening years, Army Chief Warrant Officer 2 Don Viray’s death remains a painful wound for his family.

“That’s our only son who died in Afghanistan in 2012,” said his father, Leo Viray of Waikele. His son, who died at age 25, was a pilot in the Black Hawk crash in Helmand province, the cause of which is still not clear to the family.

“It’s very hard. Even though it’s already three years, we feel like it’s just like yesterday,” said Viray, a 29-year Army veteran. “It’s not going to be healed. It’s always there. It’s going to be hard.”

But it helps, he said, to attend ceremonies such as Sunday’s event with others who’ve had similar experiences.

“It doesn’t isolate us anymore when there are other people who have the same pain,” said Don Viray’s older sister Sherry. “It’s a little easier with time, but it will never heal.”

Brandy Williams of Waipio Gentry brought her two daughters to the ceremony in remembrance of her husband, Army Sgt. Eugene Williams, who was 23 when he was killed by a suicide bomber in Iraq on March 29, 2003.

At the time of her husband’s death, Williams was pregnant with her youngest daughter, Monica, and her older daughter, Mya, was 3-1/2.

“Every chance we get to honor my husband and other fallen service members, it’s very special for us,” Williams said. “It just helps us keep his memory alive.”

Williams said her experiences allow her to encourage others dealing with the loss of a loved one.

“It’s going to be 13 years, but we made it,” Williams said. “It’s been a long, bumpy road, but we’re here.”

“I understand their struggle, the everyday struggle,” she said of the other families. “It’s nice to, for me, to be able to tell them that over time you just move on. We never forget our loved ones, but coming to these events helps.”

Her 12-year-old daughter, Monica, said her father lives on through the stories her mother tells about him.

She said she enjoyed attending the event to show that “they’re not forgotten, they are still in our hearts.”