In the past year, we’ve witnessed the national spotlight on a long-existing problem in our communities: domestic violence. We have seen what has often been confined to the privacy of our homes play out on the national stage with the telecast of Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiance. Sadly, we have also seen this played out in Hawaii.

The fact that these videos of horrible acts of violence against women surfaced does not indicate that they are new issues. However, they have put the problem into the spotlight again and we have to take action. We have a responsibility to act. Our women, daughters, mothers, family members and friends are dying each day. We can no longer keep quiet about violence against women — rationalizing our inaction by telling ourselves that it’s a private matter.

Today, I am speaking to all you men out there. First of all, I recognize that men are not always the perpetrators of violence against women. They are sometimes the victims of violence as well. Perpetrators of domestic violence can come in all forms.

However, the vast majority of perpetrators against women are men. As a man and a father of two daughters, I speak to all the men out there. Domestic violence is not just a woman’s issue that some men help with. This is a man’s issue. We cannot, must not, be silent.

Domestic violence is complicated. Many women who are beaten by someone they love, don’t want the relationship to end or don’t leave their perpetrator. They want to be safe — but live in constant fear of danger and retaliation. Often, women don’t leave their abusers because:

>> They do not want them to go to jail or be arrested;

>> Because of finances (rely on their partner’s income for living expenses);

>> They lack a place to live; they worry about the impacts to their children; and the list goes on.

I challenge all men to take the vow of standing with our women. We have an example to set for all men, especially our young men, to show a world without physical and emotional hurt. We should never be quiet about domestic violence. Being a silent bystander is simply a form of consent that violence is OK. Interrupt and disagree with words and actions that degrade woman.

We are all friends, teammates, co-workers and family members and thus have opportunities to intervene.

We need to educate our young men and women. Educate by example. Men’s violence and discrimination against women are deeply rooted in society’s definition of what it means to be a man.

This definition supports and promotes a "culture" of violence against women. This culture tells us that women are of less value than men, that they are the property of men, and that they are sexual objects. It’s in the music we listen to, the shows we watch, the activities we participate in. They objectify women as property of men and dehumanize them. Dehumanization makes it easier to commit violence against women.

Make it harder for a man in today’s world to give in to social mores that objectify women and promote a male-dominance mindset over women. Make being a man part of the visioning of a world free from violence. Make being a man someone who teaches our young men that it’s OK to have emotions, to promote equality, and to get out of the typical macho box. Since we are responsible for our history, let’s make being a man someone who values and respects women as equals.

Too many women are being traumatized and killed each year because we didn’t do enough. These matters are often not taken seriously until the victim dies — then we march, we hold vigils, we comfort each other. Domestic violence is 100 percent preventable.

Do the manliest thing you can do: Join me in one voice and say "No More" to violence against women.