I’m not one of the 1 percent. I have lived in the same small apartment in the same Makiki neighborhood for the past 32 years.

I just retired on a very small pension, Social Security and Medicare.

I spent my life with the values I saw embodied in my parents: Be a good worker. Pay your taxes. Be a good parent. And raise your kids to be good citizens.

My husband and I spent our lives trying to be financially responsible: paying our bills on time, living within our means, and saving what we could for retirement.

I’ve also tried to be a good community member and make positive contributions to our society: I vote in every election for people who I hope will understand the needs of their community, and can be strong and independent enough to fight for people like me. I have volunteered for our neighborhood organizations and worked to preserve my community.

Over the years, we’ve seen our share of scandals, scoundrels and incompetence.

However, I am dismayed at the recent downward spiral of both the financial and ethical fiber of our leaders, and the decisions they make (or fail to make).

Right now, I’m totally confused about the truth of this rail project. And I cannot seem to see any true leadership anywhere.

With the rail project, the numbers being thrown around are staggering. We are talking about billions of dollars — billions with a “B.” Somewhere along the way, our elected officials have forgotten that it’s taxpayers (like me) who will be paying for this deal.

Someone in your newspaper should do a chronology of the “scandals” surrounding this very large and very white elephant. Go way back to the misrepresentations and promises of the original rail pitch, to the pilikia between the mayor and the governor on the original half-percent general excise tax increase, to the lobbying by special interests, to the questionable contract awards to favored donors, to the endless (yes, endless) cost adjustments, to the ethics violations that were made then swept away in a “secret” meeting, to the pain and suffering of those in the construction zones.

What’s next?

And how much more can we stand? According to past reports, the Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation has a huge public relations (they call it “communications”) staff. Does it plan to let the surprises out a little at a time and then each year go to the state Legislature and to the City Council to ask for another approval to raise taxes again? And again and again?

You know, Ben Cayetano was right about the rail project. He said it would bankrupt us, and it may do just that.

At this point, I don’t see any leadership, I don’t see any accountability, and I don’t see an end to this madness. It’s time for a reassessment by both the City Council and the Legislature. They can’t treat our hard-earned taxpayer dollars like they are doling out Monopoly money.

Someone’s forgotten that it’s only through hardworking people that they have tax dollars to begin with.

Meanwhile, there’s not enough money to cut the grass; the homeless just shuffle from one part of town to another, and the University of Hawaii is giving away money to coaches — but it can’t afford to fix buildings. I picked a lousy time to retire.

Susan Lai Young, of Makiki, is a former public-school math teacher who recently retired from American Savings Bank.