Five Guys Burgers opens in Hawaii, and all anybody talks about is the line. Of course, what else can you do when you’re standing in line but snap a photo and post it to social media with a comment that straddles complaining and bragging?
Little kids are made to stand in line all the time. Line up for lunch. Line up to get a sticker from the teacher. Line up to go home.
Once you pass through the graduation line to grab your diploma and half-hug the principal, your days of daily lines are pretty much behind you. Or at least that used to be the case. Sure, there are the lines of frustration at the DMV and at the pharmacy (made worse when you’re in pain and standing in line for pain medication). Those tests of endurance are a given.
But now there are lines in odd places.
Morning lines. Not-open-yet lines. First-inside-the-store lines. Lines of people breathing on the glass, leaning on the gates, counting down the minutes on their phones, waiting waiting waiting for a business to open.
Starbucks and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, for sure. No question. That’s more than popularity or limited supply. That’s addiction. Lines in modern coffee shops are generally orderly and congenial, though.
A line often forms outside medical labs first thing in the morning. People who have been fasting since the night before want to get in, get tested and get out of there as soon as possible so they can load up on a carb-packed breakfast with impunity.
There is a crowd outside the Hawaiian Humane Society in Moiliili every morning, people anxious to look for lost pets or adopt a cute pup they saw on the website.
There’s a line outside of Leonard’s Bakery in Kapahulu in the morning, office workers whose turn it is to bring malasadas to the meeting. Then again, there’s always a line outside of Leonard’s Bakery in Kapahulu. Tourists flock to it like it’s a shrine.
Kahala Post Office has
a line outside before it opens most mornings, even when it isn’t tax time or Christmas. It moves quickly, though. It is not the DMV.
You can imagine why before-opening lines would form at places like a courthouse or a bank or even the HPD Records and Firearms unit or ag inspection at the airport. If something must be done and you know it might take a long time, might as well get there early and try to knock out that errand before lunch or before the plane leaves.
But other places seem to just be — what? Not scarcity, not competition, not even deadline pressure. There are so many people on the island that we’re accustomed to forming a line. Perhaps because traffic is so bad, people get into town early and then have to kill time. Maybe waiting for something is better than just waiting. At the very least, you can take a picture of the backs of people’s heads in front of you and post your complaint-brag.
Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.
