Smart you came today. By tomorrow, gonna be the Hurricane Rush.”

He said it as though it was capitalized like an event, like the Super Bowl or Lollapalooza. The checker at the grocery store looked at the guy bagging the groceries. The guy bagging the groceries looked back. They nodded knowing nods, like, Aw yeah, the Hurricane Rush.

That was last week. Or last month. Hard to remember because there have been so many hurricane psych-outs this year. We’ve been lucky, but we’re so weary.

It used to be, before the genius of modern tracking systems, people got ready for a storm just as the skies were getting milky and the iwa birds were coming in from the sea.

Now, it gets a little gusty around Mexico and crowds rush out for pallets of bottled water and canned meat.

But here’s the thing: Why are people buying water EVERY TIME there’s a storm warning? What happened to your water from a week ago? What happened to your Spam from last month? What are you doing with your hurricane supply between the storms? Ai-ya, braddah, don’t drink your hurricane water! Don’t eat your hurricane Spam! At least wait until hurricane season is pau!

I mean, support local grocery stores and all that. Buy a lot, and buy often. Stock up, stay thirsty, whatever. But you don’t have to get ready EVERY TIME if you get ready once and then STAY ready, right?

Having lived through Hurricane Iniki (and when I say “lived,” I mean both “survived the actual hours of the storm” and “dealt with not being able to turn on a light or take a hot shower for two months”), let me tell you that bottles of water do not get you through the first part. That part requires a strong roof or a cement bunker or a big old car made of heavy American steel in which you can hunker down in the garage while the rafters quake. The water is for the days and weeks afterward, in case the pipes to your house are broken or your house is broken. The canned goods come into play a few days after the storm, because the first thing people do is eat everything out of the fridge and throw everything from the freezer onto the barbecue grill. The eating is good right after a storm. But after a few days, you start to get nervous and crave McMuffins.

Save yourself some trouble. Keep your stash stashed. The next time those Van Gogh-looking maps appear behind Keahi Tucker’s head, maybe buy some steaks and frozen chicken. Water will keep – it’s not like eggs. Make sure the hibachi is ready and there’s a bag of charcoal briquettes where it won’t get waterlogged. If a big hurricane hits, you’re going to want that boost of barbecue protein to go out and forage for more, because some people, just by their nature, will go through their stash in the hours when it’s still storming.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.