Almost every parent knows the trauma of being in a store or a restaurant when their kid has a meltdown. For children on the autism spectrum, things like announcements on the store’s loudspeaker or getting bumped in a crowded aisle can be excruciating and lead to a fiasco.

Some families just don’t go out to restaurants. Some never see movies in a theater. Some avoid shopping.

The Autism Society of Hawaii plans events for families of children with autism spectrum disorder where they can do these things without the added pressures of too much stimulation and judgmental looks from people who don’t understand. Next month, Toys R Us in Aiea is holding a “quiet hour” for children with ASD and their families.

The company has done events like this in other places, but it will be the first time in Hawaii. The store lights will be dimmed, the in-store music and announcements will be turned off, and the store will set up a “quiet area” in case a child needs to calm down. Geoffrey the Giraffe will be there, but he’ll be, you know, chill and not in-your-face.

Jessica Wong-Sumida, executive director of the Autism Society of Hawaii, is working with her board to set up more of these sensory-friendly events. They’re planning a meal at The Old Spaghetti Factory, which has agreed to adjust the lights and music to accommodate those with sensory sensitivity. Food will be served buffet-style so that there is no waiting for an order to arrive and kids can see what their choices are.

“All attending have a loved one on the spectrum so there is no need to apologize, explain or feel uncomfortable,” Wong-Sumida said. “It is an opportunity to enjoy a night out and socialize with others who have many of the same joys and challenges in common.”

Part of the dinner will include a sensory-friendly magic show, which means no loud noises, no flash-bang explosions. “It’s really cute,” Wong-Sumida said.

April is Autism Awareness Month, and a number of events are being planned then, including a walk through Ho‘omaluhia Botanical Garden to picnic, feed the fish and maybe try catch-and-release, a movie night, and a train ride.

“Lots of kids who have autism like trains,” Wong- Sumida said.

These events often end up serving the businesses, too, providing specialized training in customer service.

“We go in before an event starts and talk with the staff about autism and what to expect, what to do, so it’s an educational experience for the businesses,” Wong- Sumida said.

Many times, parents write heartfelt letters about what the experience of eating in a calm, friendly restaurant or shopping in a quiet store meant for them.

“The parents are very thankful,” Wong-Sumida said. She shares the letters with the companies that have provided these opportunities. “One mom wrote about how it was the first time her son sat through an entire movie.”

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.