At this point you have to admire anyone who comes up with an idea, any idea, for trying to make chicken salad out of the mess of Honolulu’s rail project. So yay for the group of architects and planners involved in the Honolulu Transit Task Force and their plan to “Salvage the Rail.”

Their Photoshopped images of rail cars flush to the ground on the far right lane on King street make it look plausible. Even pleasant. Like San Francisco’s cable cars or the old Hono­lulu streetcars. If only it could be that way. If only you could someday hop on a train as it slides by the old courthouse and ride, unbothered by the burden of self-navigation, all the way to Ala Moana Center to buy sun hats and capri pants and other carefree symbols of a really nice life.

But that utopian photo rendering is not what downtown Honolulu streets look like. Where are the bicycles whizzing through intersections with impunity? Where are the guys on high-pitched, foul-smelling mopeds weaving in and out of traffic? Where are the people with their eyes glued to their phones and their ears plugged with earbuds leisurely moseying across the crosswalk while the red hand blinks to no effect? Where are the drivers yapping on their phones? The crush of late and frazzled commuters? The grandmas with huge dark glasses slowly pulling their wheeled shopping baskets along the roadside? The city streets are already full up, maxed out and crazy with vehicles, pedestrians and troublemakers without a train plowing through all that chaos. Will all those users suddenly be off the pavement and on the train?

The report is optimistic: “There is typically a ‘break-in’ period during which local drivers learn to adapt to train traffic after which traffic and street level trains function smoothly together.” This generously assumes the best about Honolulu drivers. The report also includes ideas for keeping passengers safe as they get on and off the train.

Meanwhile, Mayor Kirk Caldwell’s salvage plan involves asking the Legislature to extend the half-percent excise tax surcharge permanently in order to pay for building the rail. This was a surprise to some, but truth be told, rail opponents have been saying from the beginning, in 2007, when this tax first came online, that it would not be enough to pay for the cost of building the rail from Kapolei all the way into town. But all that mattered back then was breaking ground on the project, and all that matters now is keeping the construction going like the Winchester Mystery House.

If you look at the picture, there’s a bus right behind the rail. The bus and the rail would share a lane. On King Street. Where there aren’t enough lanes to share. Which begs the question, Why would you need a train when the bus already runs that way? Never mind. Silly question. Not helpful. Nobody has come up with anything better.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.