Republicans fighting over how to best ruin things

It’s the last Sunday in February and time to “flASHback” on recent news that amused and confused:

>> Washington is in chaos as newly empowered Republicans struggle to figure out how to govern. They’re divided over what to repeal first — Obamacare or the Enlightenment.

>> President Donald Trump had his own way of making his feelings known. He issued an executive order ahead of daylight saving directing that clocks be set back to the Dark Age.

>> Former Hawaii Gov. Linda Lingle said Trump was elected because he understood the angst of Americans who felt “let down by the establishment in both political parties.” That and a little help from the Russians.

>> Hawaii U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz complained the Senate is “too fussy” about decorum. The Senate’s partisan brawls have blurred the difference between comity and comedy.

>> U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard took heat from both parties for a secretive trip to Syria that turned out to be a love-fest with the country’s murderous dictator, Bashar al-Assad. Gabbard responded to the criticism by checking her TV ratings.

>> Gov. David Ige appointed his 2014 campaign manager, Keith Hiraoka, to be an Oahu circuit judge. That’s ingratitude for you; for getting a light hitter like Ige elected, he deserved a seat on the Supreme Court.

>> More than a dozen measures to raise taxes are alive in the 2017 Hawaii Legislature, including the rail tax, the gasoline tax and the income tax. Lawmakers established a hotline for horrified taxpayers to call: 1-800-AINOKEA.

>> House Speaker Joe Souki introduced a bill to legalize prostitution, though he said he doesn’t personally support the measure. It was a matter of professional courtesy.

>> The attorney general ruled that state Rep. Gene Ward’s controversial map pinpointing where homeless people in East Oahu live passes legal muster because it protects public safety. If public safety is the concern, how about a map of where legislators live?

>> The six House Republicans had a vicious floor fight to oust Rep. Beth Fukumoto as minority leader for calling Trump a bully. Her successor, Rep. Andria Tupola, will redecorate the GOP caucus room as a UFC octagon.

>> The House saved Mayor Kirk Caldwell’s $200,000-to-$300,000 gig at Territorial Savings Bank by killing a bill to bar outside jobs for mayors and the governor. Was that Caldwell dab-dancing around the Capitol courtyard?

>> Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa is catching grief from offended Native Hawaiians for saying “there’s no such thing as sacred rocks.” A politician who picks that fight has rocks in his head.

And the quote of the month … from Kailua pastor Dave Willweber, opposing a death with dignity law to allow the terminally ill to end their suffering: “There can be tremendous good that can come out of suffering.” Easy to say if the suffering isn’t yours.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.