Kid on Kauai helps others after others helped him

The slaps and shoves never bothered Bryden Kaauwai. Not much, at least.

It was the relentless taunting that hurt most.

Kaauwai, a sophomore at Kauai High School, had always been a big kid, a too-gentle giant whose imposing stature belies a sensitive disposition. The bullies who roamed the elementary and middle school hallways picked up on Kaauwai’s vulnerability and viciously teased him about his size, loosing a nonstop drip of ego-destroying ridicule that slowly rotted Kaauwai’s sense of self-worth.

“They told me I was too fat and too stupid,” he said. “That dug into my heart and tore it apart. It made me feel like I wasn’t worth being alive. I felt like nothing could help me and that I wasn’t worth it anyway.”

Kaauwai’s parents separated when he was in middle school. By that time he had begun isolating himself from friends and family.

“I was depressed,” he said. “I just wanted to stay home and not socialize with anyone. I admit that I even thought about suicide.”

Kaauwai had been a member of the Kapaa branch of the Boys and Girls Club of Hawaii. He joined in the fifth grade but stopped participating in middle school as part of his overall withdrawal from the life he knew. He felt he was beyond help.

But in his lowest moments Kaauwai found himself thinking about the club and feeling oddly hopeful. Finally, a year ago, he took a chance and stopped by the clubhouse in Lihue, where he was living.

“As soon as I stepped through the door, they gave me such a warm welcome that I knew this place could change lives for the better,” he said. “After a few months there, I felt like the club was more than just a support system; it felt like the family I was missing.”

Kaauwai got involved with BGCH’s Leaders in Training Program, which he credits with helping him identify and address his weaknesses.

Through the program, Kaauwai came to recognize how a lack of organization and time management exacerbated the stresses he felt and further isolated him from friends and family. He also learned how to better think ahead, weigh consequences and make intelligent choices of which he could be proud.

In time Kaauwai came to realize that just as he had suffered from the loss of a father figure in his home, so, too, were his three younger brothers suffering from his lack of engagement.

“The program helped me to be the big brother they needed,” he said. “Now I enjoy going home, helping them with their homework, giving them advice when they have problems and being more helpful to my mom.”

In reconnecting with his younger siblings and serving as a mentor to younger members at the Boys and Girls Club, Kaauwai gradually gained the confidence to address his own weight and health issues.

Determined to avoid the chronic health problems that have plagued his grandparents, Kaauwai has taken to accompanying his mother to her work at Ho‘ola Lahui Hawai‘i, a community health center, where he attends Zumba and other fitness classes. He’s also cutting down on fast-food favorites like Taco Bell and McDonald’s in favor of salads and other healthier fare.

Kaauwai said the positive changes that have come through his involvement with BGCH have inspired him to do what he can to help others, especially young people like himself who have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide.

To that end he’s spearheaded “True Colors,” an event that brings together participants from the island’s three BGCH clubhouses on Kauai to promote suicide awareness and prevention. The event is scheduled for 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. April 23 at the Vidinha Stadium soccer field.

“I’m really happy to be able to help other people,” Kaauwai said. “Now some of my friends and classmates come to me for help and support. They know they can come to me because I needed that help once, too.”

Reach Michael Tsai at mtsai@staradvertiser.com.