In a ballroom filled with hundreds of our closest friends and family, my husband channeled his inner Michael Jackson and moonwalked across the dance floor, rousing our unsuspecting guests into a jubilant ovation.
We were at our wedding reception, just a few hours into our marriage, and at that moment I knew our life together would be quite the adventure.
His impromptu performance, a totally random burst of pure joy, remains one of my favorite memories from our wedding 11 years ago today.
As I look back to that day and all the years since, I’ve thought about some of the ways we continue to make our marriage a happy one:
>> We make each other laugh. My husband and I share a sense of humor (see example above), which has helped us get through trying times — and there are many when you’re married with three young daughters. Frustrating relationship issue? Stressful parental moment? In our family there isn’t a juvenile joke, sarcastic comment or silly imitation that can’t lighten the mood and make things a little better.
>> We talk about our day, every day. In our life B.C. (before children), we started “The List.” Throughout the day we would each jot on a Post-it note (I’ve upgraded to an iPhone note) things we’d like to share with each other at the end of the day, usually during dinner. Items on “The List” have included interesting chats with co-workers, reminders for doctor appointments, date-night ideas and school announcements. “The List” ensures we have daily conversations — when we actually talk, listen and make eye contact. It’s one way we stay connected, and has worked for us all these years.
>> We support each other. From career changes to new hobbies, we stand by each other’s decisions, big and small. It all comes down to the desire to see each other fulfilled and happy in life.
>> We schedule time for just the two of us. While we love being Daddy and Mommy, we love being husband and wife just as much. Quality time without our daughters every so often is important to both of us. We’ve treated ourselves to a Waikiki staycation and Seattle getaway, but really, a simple dinner date or Netflix night is just as cherished.
>> We express gratitude. “Thank you for the delicious dinner.” “Thank you for cleaning the bathroom.” “Thank you for preparing the girls’ breakfast.” It’s always nice to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Marriage is not easy. I know. This is my second one. So I’m grateful every day for my husband, our commitment to our family and the life we are building. It isn’t perfect — yes, we fight like all couples do, but we always make up. We constantly strive to be and do our best, for each other and for our children.
Happy anniversary, Andreas. Here’s to many more years together on this fun, crazy, wonderful adventure.
“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.
