For most, life is not an either/or proposition

There is this strange evaluation that happens now in public places, a search for clues to tell you whether the people around you are on your side. If the TV is on at the bar, perhaps you scan the faces behind the beer mugs to see if they’re nodding or shaking their heads over what the president is saying. If their opinions match up to yours, then you relax. If not, depending on your proclivities, you either keep your mouth shut or look for ways to pick a fight.

This reduction to “what side are you on” is pervasive at this moment in history. It is not just national or international politics, though it’s certainly easier to see in those arenas. It also reaches down to local issues, even to small municipal matters like whether you think Biki is cool or stupid or whether you are for or against mandatory sprinklers in high-rises.

Someone recently said to me (dismissively), “Oh, you’re against the rail.”

And I thought, wait, when did I sign that pledge card?

I’ve written pieces that were critical about the management of the project, but I’ve also written about how so many working people in Kapolei and Waipahu suffer through the current daily commute that rail is clearly needed. I think a lot of people feel like that: neither for nor against nor neutral.

Our current mindset doesn’t always allow for anything other than a “for” or “against” label. You’re either completely in agreement with a side or you’re seen as an enemy of the cause. There is no room for complicated feelings or complex reasoning or shades of gray. If you have questions or concerns, you’re a hater and a foe.

This seems to be the case with the turmoil over telescopes on both Hawaii island’s Mauna Kea and Maui’s Haleakala. Either you stand as a Hawaiian or with Hawaiians and see these structures as an abomination, or you side with the abominators. News coverage reflects this binary distinction, as when “prominent Native Hawaiians” have voiced their support for the telescope projects and their stance is colored as though it crosses a cultural, genealogical divide.

But in most things, human beings are not yes-or-no creatures. When we’re asked to check one of two boxes, regardless of the question, we often feel that discomfort of knowing that neither answer is quite right. There are caveats and exceptions and long explanations. Feelings change over time. One’s worldview shifts with life experiences. Sometimes the way we see an issue comes as a surprise even to ourselves.

It is possible to be health-conscious, to love your children and the environment and to not worry about GMO products in your cupboard.

It is possible to work at a beachfront resort but still mourn the loss of a wild, undeveloped coastline.

It is possible to love Hawaii, to love America, but to hate things that people do in the name of that same love.

People are complicated. Issues are complicated. Pretending both are not doesn’t help.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.