There was a time when driving to and from work made me see red — literally (brake lights) and figuratively (rage).

Traffic congestion is part of my life; it always has been and most likely always will be. I’m from Leeward Oahu. I was raised there, and now I’m raising my own family on the west side — where traffic backups to and from school, work and play are part of our norm.

I have a work schedule that puts me in the thick of morning traffic every weekday. My nearly 22-mile commute into town averages anywhere between 45 and 90 minutes, depending on how many accidents or stalls there are. And of course when it pours, every inch of rainfall means an additional 30 minutes — at least that’s how it sometimes feels.

We all strive to drive with aloha, especially during this busy back-to-school-jam season, but I know the stress of traffic snarls can bring out the worst in us.

So here’s how I look at it these days: That time stuck in traffic is probably the biggest chunk of my day I have all to myself. All. To. Myself. And that’s gold when you’re a working mommy with three young children.

I’ve learned to appreciate and savor this alternative “alone time.” It may not be a spa, but with the right attitude and car snacks (dark chocolate-covered anything), it can be just as enjoyable.

I can eat whatever I want (preferably bite-sized and crumbless) without having to share. I can listen to whatever I want without hearing any whining. No Disney princesses belting out how far they’ll go or to let it go. I like to listen to public radio for news or relaxing classical music, and local radio shows for top 40 tunes or some awesomely crude humor and good laughs.

Sometimes I prefer total quiet to Zen out, enjoying the peace and sweeping scenery of the Ewa plain all the way to Diamond Head. I love that view, one of my favorites during my drive. In that sort of soothing solitude, I can focus on the day ahead and make a mental to-do list of things I’d like to accomplish.

Sure, like any normal human, there are times I get anxious about being late for work or become angry with reckless drivers.

In those moments, I remind myself to pump the brakes — literally (don’t ram the car that just cut you off) and figuratively (take a deep, calming breath) — and continue driving with aloha.

“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.