When laws have to be passed to keep adults from subjecting kids to known hazards inside the small confines of a motor vehicle, cries of “Overreach!” are drowned out by the loud truth that some grown-ups — some parents — just can’t be trusted to get it right. If a baby is about to fall down a flight of stairs and a random auntie’s arm flies out like a lasso and rescues the child, that’s not an overreach. That’s a save.

In fact, maybe the aunties and uncles on the Honolulu City Council should extend their loving arms and reach even farther. Maybe there should be more bills and laws to keep the keiki safe.

Parents can’t be trusted to make good decisions on their own. They need bills and laws and information campaigns and educational outreach. (Outreach, not overreach. There’s a difference. Outreach costs more and often requires grant money.)

The City Council should look at banning the consumption of fast food in cars when children are present. All that fat and salt and sugar. Fast food should be eaten only in transit when walking or biking so that the bad stuff can be burned right off and there’s a net zero. But not in a crosswalk. Fries in a crosswalk should be banned. Too distracting. No chicken nuggets in a crosswalk, either, especially when dipping sauce is involved. No dipping sauce at all during transit unless it’s hands-free.

The City Council should also ban the drinking of large caffeinated beverages in cars when children are present. Those huge coffee drinks can make a person jittery, and science has shown that jittery adults in cars with children make children jittery.

Or science hasn’t shown it, but we all know anyway. All that caffeine can make a person need to pee and sometimes poop, and nothing is more angsty and snappish than a parent who needs to pee and poop during a long drive when the kids are acting up in the back seat.

And speaking of that, the City Council should ban the drinking of sugary caffeinated beverages by underage drinkers because kids shouldn’t be drinking that stuff. Your grandma told you that. What is wrong with you, anyway? You’ll stunt your growth and stain your teeth. And what’s up with the plastic straws? Those kill seals, you know.

The City Council should pass a bill specifically banning driving with only one contact lens when children are in the car. (I see you, Ron Menor. I see you with both eyes.)

And car dancing. There should be a law prohibiting dancing while driving because you know you’ve seen that sister grooving to Ginuwine’s “Pony” while barreling down the H-1 by Punchbowl. (We see you, lady. Yeah, you still got it, but save it for the cage at Rumours.)

Overreach? Nah. Reach some more. We need to be protected from ourselves, and Uncle Ron and the rest of the crew are just the team to do it.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.