We always give suicide lots of attention after celebrities lose their battle with their disease that causes them to feel so hopeless that death became the only option.
I am not saying that it’s a bad thing to mourn these celebrities.
I am simply asking a question: Why is it OK in this society to discuss suicide after someone has died, but it is not OK to discuss depression, anxiety, addiction and hopelessness while they are still alive?
The stigma that those living with behavioral health issues feel, is suffocating. Take that from a person who has survived a suicide attempt.
If patients with cancer have doctors’ appointments or are going through chemotherapy and feel too sick to do things on their own, how do we treat them and their loved ones? They are offered rides, dinners for their families while they recover, and are excused with compassion from social events. Is it the same with someone living with bipolar disorder or major depression, or generalized anxiety disorder?
Some 22 veterans die per day from suicide in the United States; suicide has killed more soldiers than in every war combined since Vietnam. Overall, suicide rates have risen 25 percent since 1999. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death in Hawaii for 15- to 34-year-olds. Suicide attempt numbers are not even known and can barely be guessed at by state agencies.
How will you help end the stigma so that our brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, aunties and uncles can feel safe enough to reach out when their brain disease is causing them pain?
Begin by naming the problem. It is disease. It is illness. It is not weakness. It is not merely an issue of will power. Imagine for a moment what strength and courage it takes to fight a battle with one’s own brain on a daily basis just to feel enough hope to stay alive. That’s heroism, not cowardice.
We cannot find a solution to a problem we cannot name. Brain disease — that is the name.
Brain diseases hurt. Please find some compassion. Give hugs. Listen. Offer meals to families with loved ones suffering. Look at us in the eyes. Smile. Ask how we are doing and don’t judge us when we answer you. Can you give us a ride to an appointment or sit with us when we are scared? Can you refrain from using the condescending tone and just be present with us like you would any other friend?
Keep these resources that are available 24/7 and share them far and wide within your networks: The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-273-8255; the National Suicide Prevention text line is 741741. Download and install the app called Kokua Life, which is the suicide prevention app specifically for Hawaii.
Mourning loss and grieving is real and a natural part of life. Mourning loss that was possibly preventable is heartbreaking beyond words. Be part of the solution. Break the stigma. Speak out and speak up, often and loud.
Hope is always the answer. How will you bring hope into someone’s life today?
Zahava Zaidoff is a certified substance abuse counselor/prevention specialist on Hawaii island.
