Kyle John Atabay returned to his alma mater, Damien Memorial School, last week as its new principal after struggling as a student himself at four colleges, touring as a hula dancer and helping Oahu’s homeless.
Atabay’s circuitous academic and entertainment life eventually led him to a bachelor’s degree in behavioral sciences and master’s degree in counseling psychology from Chaminade University; a Ph.D. in professional educational practice from the University of Hawaii at Manoa; a love for counseling students; and his most recent job as vice principal of Kamehameha Schools’ Kapalama Middle School, where he worked for 17 years.
Now 52, Atabay believes his own roundabout return to Damien will help students realize “that things are going to be OK” while offering them a Catholic-
based education.
“Kids come from a whole lot of different backgrounds with different skills,” Atabay said in his new office in Damien’s Kalihi campus, which overlooks the football field.
Atabay last week began introducing himself to prospective Damien families touring the campus, as well as to parents of football players getting ready for
official practices to start.
The school year started at Damien last fall with
667 students enrolled. So far, 647 students are signed up, and more are expected when the first day of classes begins Aug. 7.
As the youngest of four children from divorced parents, Atabay was the only one in his family to go to private school because his late father, Henry, a stevedore, felt it was the best way to keep Atabay focused and out of trouble.
“For the most part we have working-class families (at Damien) that are looking for a quality education for their children,” Atabay said. “That’s not much different than my family.”
Some Damien parents, such as Hanalei Ahn, Damien class of 1996, are thrilled to have a fellow alumnus leading the school.
Ahn volunteers as defensive backs coach for the intermediate football team. His sons, Haven and Shaden, are Damien students entering the eighth and seventh grades.
Having an alumnus as principal, Ahn said, “is about guys giving back to the brotherhood. It’s our culture where everybody
is close to everybody. It builds that bond.”
Eddie Williams, Damien class of 2006 and now one of two coaches running the intermediate football team, agreed.
“He’s someone who walked the halls, knows the culture,” he said.
There was no plan for college when Atabay, who had attended St. Joseph School in Waipahu, enrolled at Damien as an eighth-grader in 1980.
“I lived with my dad,”
Atabay said. “I think he thought private school would help keep me in line. No one in my home went to college.”
Out of 220 seniors in his 1984 graduating class,
Atabay estimates he was
in the top 12 percent.
“I wasn’t a straight-A
student,” he said.
He and a boyhood friend from St. Joseph got lost the following fall at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, cut too many classes and finally dropped out.
“It was too much freedom,” Atabay said. “You didn’t have to go to class. Needless to say, my grades didn’t look too good. That was shocking. That was the first time I had experienced failure in school.”
Atabay first met Robert Cazimero of the Brothers Cazimero and the Royal Dance Company at Damien, where Atabay’s halau, led by one Cazimero’s students, won what was then called the Secondary School Hula Competition.
After dropping out of UH, Atabay danced hula for
Cazimero at the Royal
Hawaiian Hotel five nights
a week while working a day job helping tourists at Honolulu International Airport.
In 1988, at the age of 22, Atabay tried going to Kapiolani Community College, “but I kind of failed out,” he said. He tried Leeward Community College, “but that’s when I stopped going to school and went back to dancing.”
But while at KCC, Atabay had worked in the counseling office, and something about helping others “turned me on to the counseling side.”
Over the next few
years, he kept dancing
and eventually ended up
at Chaminade.
At the same time, he worked as a counselor at the Institute for Human Services, trying to help homeless people who had “burned bridges and cut themselves from all resources,” Atabay said. “They truly have nothing.
It really pointed me to the idea that education is the way out.”
Now Atabay is back at his alma mater, where one of his old English teachers, Rudy Alejo, still teaches. Alejo stopped by last week to welcome him home.
“It’s a great feeling,”
Atabay said. “It’s a great honor.”
