I’m not sure what a world-class playground is, but I’m pretty sure what a world-class beach is, and I think Ala Moana beach park probably qualifies, especially if the bathrooms get clean and stay clean, the plumbing and irrigation features are fully functional, there are places to park and the nearshore water isn’t gunked up with trash or stream runoff or wastewater spills. Yeah, other than those, you know, city maintenance issues, and the continuing issues of homeless people taking over the facilities, Ala Moana beach park is pretty awesome.

So here comes the developer of ultraluxury condominiums around the park supporting a plan to build a big recreation area for kids that includes zip lines, a splash pool and food vendors — because bringing your own sandwich to the beach just doesn’t cut it anymore. The plan supported by the developer is being put forward by a group of volunteer moms.

Well, there is no good way to argue against a group of volunteer moms planning a playground. A group like that is about as unassailable as Girl Scouts selling cookies or bikers collecting Toys for Tots.

But …

There’s already lots to do at Ala Moana, even for the dear cooped-up kiddos who will live a few months of the year in the luxury apartments just across the street. The ocean is right there, and for most days of the year, it’s a calm ocean, perfect for sandy walks and building castles and swimming where your feet can touch bottom even if you’re very small.

Is that not enough?

And the idea that the targeted part of the park is underused or inactive is odd. Isn’t part of the concept of a park to have open space?

There’s something very 2018 about building a big playground at a beach park, bigger-ing and better-ing something that is, in its simplicity, about as wonderful and miraculous as an attraction can be. Ala Moana is not in desperate need of fun things. In contrast, military bases have the reputation of having fantastic playgrounds because there’s not much else for base kids to do. Towns like, for example, Cathedral City, Calif., baking in the flat lands of the Coachella Valley, have amazing play areas because they have plenty of land and not much fun happening on it. Cathedral City has a gorgeous tiled fountain that kids can run through on those hot desert days because it’s, like, 130 miles to the beach.

Why not a world-class playground on another empty spot, like Mother Waldron Park, which was, at its beginning in the 1930s, meant to be a world-class playground? As it is currently, Mother Waldron is a shadeless haven for hard-core homeless who get chased out every couple of months only to return.

What Ala Moana needs is reliable maintenance and reliably enforced security. What Kakaako needs is something to anchor the gaping space of Mother Waldron Park. What Mayor Kirk Caldwell seems to need are flashy projects to burnish his legacy and build backing for his future aspirations while distracting from the continuing mess of the rail.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.