It’s the last Sunday in January and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> The Hawaii Legislature convened its 2019 session with festivities that included music, speeches and an above-ground imu. This year they’re dishing out the pork the old-school way.
>> Gov. David Ige delivered his annual address to legislators and declared, “The state of the state of Hawaii is sound.” As in the sound of one hand clapping.
>> Sens. Stanley Chang and Karl Rhoads proposed a bill to lower Hawaii’s voting age to 16 from 18. The hope is that high school kids will bring some maturity to politics.
>> The Hawaiian Humane Society asked legislators to allow dogs in restaurants under certain conditions. These include providing the animals privacy to lick their genitals, toilets to drink from and booster seats for their fleas.
>> The House revamped its sexual harassment policy to curtail offensive comments, kissing and touching. The rules exempt lawmakers accused of putting their hands in our pockets.
>> Hawaii observed one year since a false nuclear missile alert that scared the bejesus out of us while the state took 38 minutes to clear up its mistake. Ige wanted to tweet out a remembrance, but he forgot his password again.
>> U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard announced she’ll run for president, picked a fight with U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono and drew a challenge for her House seat from state Sen. Kai Kahele, then inexplicably claimed, “I’m not thinking about politics right now.” Must be too busy thinking about TULSI.
>> U.S. Rep. Ed Case caught major flak for telling an Asian-American and Pacific Islander event in Washington that he’s “an Asian trapped in a white body.” Or perhaps a babooze trapped in brain freeze.
>> The Supreme Court delayed the seating of an East Oahu City Council member because of election irregularities, leaving the Council in limbo. With our Council, limbo is an improvement over ineffectual.
>> Rail CEO Andrew Robbins proclaimed it “good news” after agreeing to pay $160 million to contractor Ansaldo Honolulu JV over construction delays. Rail may be running us broke, but he saved 15 percent from GEICO.
>> City Corporation Counsel Donna Leong was the latest top law enforcer to get a target letter in an expanding federal corruption probe. You know we’re in trouble when the hottest municipal dance craze is the perp walk.
>> University of Hawaii biologists received a $10.4 million federal grant to study bacteria, fungi and viruses. It’s the first research to encompass all three branches of government.
And the quote of the month … from House Speaker Scott Saiki at the Legislature’s opening: “It is within our control to ensure that government funds are well spent and produce their intended results.” Unfortunately, it is not within their DNA.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
