My head is always filling up with reminders of things I need to do — everyday chores, random errands, long-term home projects and work assignments, to name a few. These never-ending mental to-dos make me wonder if or when I will ever be able to them check off.
Tend to emails at work. Tackle growing paper piles in the living room. Swing by the car wash sometime this week.
The lists run through my mind — even during what should be my quiet mommy moments — waking me early in the morning, invading my exercise time as I run on my elliptical machine, making me shower a little longer than necessary and keeping me up at night. They are whispers of my own voice that are sometimes somehow deafening.
Pay credit card bill. Contact sitter to schedule a date night with the hubby. Turn in oldest daughter’s field trip permission form and payment.
I’ve come to accept that this is how I operate. Sometimes it works in my favor, pushing me to get things done. And honestly, being able to remember the most random to-do is an achievement in itself, what with my Mommy Brain these days. When the thought comes to me, I’ll note it on my iPhone or planner if necessary. (Actual written lists are my life. That’s another column.)
Buy middle daughter new shorts. Clean the air conditioners’ filters. Reorder more disposable contact lenses.
But sometimes this psychological barrage of reminders can be problematic, when they come at me fast and furious, in a way that makes my stomach hurt or my left eye twitch, or in rare cases, gives me migraines.
Organize pantry. Try to remove grass stain from youngest’s leggings. Balance checkbook.
In those times when the mental notes seem like too much, I try to zone out of my head space to a more peaceful place. For example, if they take over my thoughts during my 45-minute commute to or from work, listening to classical music on public radio always helps me escape. I’m thinking meditation would also do wonders for me, so I need to look into that.
Figure out dinner menu for next week. Clear out junk from under our bed. Refill prescriptions.
Still, those relentless to-dos keep flooding my mind and I try my darndest to get to each item as soon as possible before I drown in all of them.
Deliver donations of clothing in car trunk. Frame daughters’ newest school portraits. Shop for friend’s baby shower gift.
There’s at least one item that has recently been badgering my brain that I know I’ll be able to check off very soon. And each item I check off — big or small — always gives me a fantastic feeling of accomplishment. Those feelings are everything to busy mommies.
Finish column.
“She Speaks” is a column by women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.
