David Shapiro: Finding laughs between groans as election goes overtime

I’ve always had faith when our politics get overheated that we’re America and we’ll work it out.

After being so gripped in tension to see whether our national bonds still hold, I need to lighten up a bit and do so by sharing some of my favorite political quotations — comforting reminders of our freedom to say it as it is:

>> “We have a deeply divided body politic. Half of our population believes our elections are broken, the other half believes they are fixed.” — Steve Bhaerman

>> “Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.” — John Kenneth Galbraith

>> “There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can’t remember the second.” — Mark Hanna

>> “If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?” — Jon Stewart

>> “Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.” — Charles De Gaulle

>> “The way my luck is running, if I were a politician I would be an honest man.” — Rodney Dangerfield

>> “Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.” — Oscar Ameringer

>> “No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that’s why we have two parties.” — Bob Hope

>> “Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.” — Pericles

>> “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” — P.J. O’Rourke

>> “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking Americans. It’s the other lousy 2% that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.” — Lily Tomlin

>> “On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people and for the people, or, as they are now called, corporations.” — Andy Borowitz

>> “Our elections are free. It’s in the results where eventually we pay.” — Bill Stern

>> “I just received the following wire from my generous daddy: ‘Dear Jack, Don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.’” — John F. Kennedy

>> “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” — Abraham Lincoln

>> “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” — Will Rogers

>> “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain

>> “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” — H.L. Mencken

>> “The enemy isn’t conservatism. The enemy isn’t liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.” — Lars-Erik Nelson

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.