Back in the day, the uncles and their friends would trade insults and tales, retract them with “nah, nah, nah” disclaimers, clink Primo bottles, and then trade more insults and tales.

It was fun, harmless and absent of malice.

And then something happened, small and then not so small. The wink became a stink eye. “Just kiddin’” became an infrequent salutation. Patience was lost in the rush-hour crawl to the H-1/H-2 split. Sports officials were told to get new cell plans (“Hey, ref, you have five missed calls!”). TikTok was rude to visitors seeking vacation activities in Hawaii. And University of Hawaii coaches were put under a microscope that felt like an incubator.

Sure, success is an expectation of coaches. But extreme criticism often has become excessive. June Jones walked away from an NFL head coaching job and obese paycheck to coach the UH football team in 1999. But nine years and an unbeaten regular season later, he was called greedy for accepting a more lucrative coaching job at SMU. Nick Rolovich, among the lowest-paid Mountain West coaches, also was tsk-tsk’d for going to Washington State after leading the Rainbow Warriors to three bowls in four years. People are still habuteru at Fred vonAppen even though he has not been on the Manoa campus since two years ahead of Y2K. For 20 years, former baseball coach Mike Trapasso was nit-picked for not being Les Murakami, who also had been nit-picked in the final years of his own UH tenure. The honeymoon period has been a shot clock with no timeouts.

Of course, coaches should be judged mostly on win-loss records. UH has enough counselors and advisers to help those needing tutoring, and a code of honor to monitor behavior. But there appears to be a growing “Mean Girls” vibe aimed at coaches when teams struggle. Expressing frustration over a team’s performance is one thing, vitriol is another. The Germans call it schadenfreude — pleasure derived from another person’s misfortune.

What often is forgotten in the tap-tap-tap agitation is coaches are real people who have not changed their intentions since their introductory news conferences. Jones gave second and third chances to players, developed a successful branding program for the Warriors and UH, spearheaded fundraising drives, paid for a sound system and a Mike Post-composed fight song, and insisted half his annual salary be paid with private money. Don’t think that’s a big deal? Wait until he calculates his UH pension.

Norm Chow was scoffed for not fulfilling his “chasing championships” pledge. But he also came through on his other promises of graduating student-athletes, preparing some for pro football, and assuring proper character. Chow arranged for pregame meals to promote Kapiolani Community College’s culinary school, fueled players with snacks during games, introduced the Warrior Walk, painted the old locker room and lobbied for the new one, and footed the bill for luncheons for athletic department staff.

Rolovich volunteered for charitable and fundraising drives, and held functions welcoming back former Warriors.

Current football coach Todd Graham and his staff turned down bowl bonuses to help the athletic department’s coffers. Men’s basketball coach Eran Ganot is heavily involved in the Coaches vs. Cancer program. Softball coach Bob Coolen helps maintain the campus. Women’s basketball coach Laura Beeman and soccer coach Michele Nagamine helped saved the life of a runner who collapsed during the Honolulu Marathon.

Which brings us to last week’s hiring of new baseball coach Rich Hill. He had a knockout introductory Zoom conference, outlining his goals of connecting with the alumni, implementing a talented lineup and gritty pitching staff, demanding self discipline and a service mind-set, filling Les Murakami Stadium, and hosting an NCAA Regional. It was a blueprint Hill used successfully in 23 years as San Diego’s head coach, when the Toreros appeared in eight NCAA regionals, claimed seven West Coast Conference titles, and developed two national players of the year. Hill’s affinity for UH was evident with his decision to walk away from a USD team that is expected to qualify for the 2022 postseason.

While Hill is evoking a win-now approach, the reality is most journeys are not always smooth. It is a lesson he learned in 2019, when he persevered in a stand-up paddleboard competition, taking 5 1/2 hours to cross the Pailolo Channel from Maui to Molokai. The long path is usually bumpy. UH’s hope is the fan base will continue to remain supportive through the ride.