In the health care debate, we often argue issues such as patient panels, insurance reimbursements and coverage of pre-existing conditions. Having just completed an unplanned four-day stay at The Queen’s Medical Center in Honolulu, I have a different perspective.

I was admitted to Queen’s suffering from severe abdominal pain. It was determined that I had sepsis from an infection that was affecting my gallbladder and liver. I ended up having two procedures, one which cleaned out a clogged bile duct; and, a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, to remove my gallbladder. In 2018, I was in Queen’s for two weeks with a life-threatening case of sepsis with cellulitis.

As a result of my two stays, I think I learned enough to offer a few modest observations on what works in health care.

One, it’s about people. No matter your social status or income, the emergency room is the great equalizer. We all enter scared of the pain, of the unknown.

Two, it’s about trying to maintain a modicum of dignity in a world in which you have no control. Hospital stays tend to cause other issues to become problems, all usually detrimental to maintaining personal dignity. For example, if you are deemed a fall candidate, as I was, you learn to pee while a nurse or aide stands by you and holds you by a belt.

Three, it’s about information. In the age of Google search and smartphones, it’s easier for us to be engaged in our own care.

What I’ve also learned during my past two hospital stays is that The Queen’s Medical Center has figured out a training regime that successfully deals with these issues.

It ranges from the simple to the sublime. Everyone greets you by name, a sign of friendliness and courtesy. They treat you with respect, such as the nurse’s aide who handled me like a newborn baby when she cleaned me with warm wipes. And the extraordinary effort the doctors made to meet with me, daily, to update me on my procedures and condition.

Queen’s “people first” approach was best exemplified by Dr. Kraig L. Young, who unclogged my bile duct. Dr. Young told me my first morning in the hospital that his procedure would be that afternoon.

But I needed more time to talk it over with my wife, who was worried I wasn’t going to get out of this alive. I explained the situation to Dr. Young. He agreed, and pushed back his procedure by a day. I know he broke every scheduling protocol. It was, however, a flash of kindness and humanity in the dark of uncertainty.

Queen’s, of course, doesn’t always get it right. On this most recent hospitalization, I had a nurse’s aide help me into the shower. When I got out, she was nowhere to be seen.

During my 2018 stay, a team of surgical residents used my sepsis-ravaged leg to learn to abrade badly damaged skin. The Queen’s Wound Care Center had ordered the use of a miraculous natural honey ointment. On this day, however, a surgical resident was using a regular cream. “What about the honey?” I asked. With supreme self-confidence he responded, “Well, if you want to stick your foot into a bowl of sugar, go ahead.”

I spoke to the hospitalist. The next day, the honey salve was back, and Doogie Howser, M.D., never returned to my room.

Those are the exceptions. Whether it was nurses such as Chelsea, Joleen, Shasta or Hazel caring for me with warmth and kindness, or Drs. Watai, Miyazaki, Young, Park and Wai making sure I was an active participant in my care, at Queen’s I was treated with respect.

And that’s the final lesson: When you’re facing fear and uncertainty, respect goes a long way.

Floyd K. Takeuchi is a writer-photographer based in Honolulu.