It’s the last Sunday in September and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> Tourism executives complained the worst part about Gov. David Ige’s request for visitors to stay away because of COVID-19 is that it leaves tourists confused. This might help: Aloha can mean “hello” or “goodbye,” but stay away just means “stay away.”

>> Lt. Gov. Josh Green, who warned for weeks that hospitals might have to turn away patients if coronavirus cases kept rising, denounced any rationing after the state’s plan drew criticism. His finger in the air is more windburned than a weather vane rooster.

>> State health officials described their rationing standards as a tool to provide “dignity” to those needing medical care for COVID-19 or other maladies. Nothing says dignity like dying in the parking lot waiting for a wristband.

>> About 800 people marched down Kalakaua Avenue in what amounted to an Aloha COVID-19 rally to protest having to prove vaccination to work or enter restaurants. Perhaps they’d prefer showing vaccination cards to get into emergency rooms.

>> Some 50 anti-vaxxers disrupted Mayor Rick Blangiardi’s testimony to the City Council on vaccine mandates by banging on the windows and screaming. I don’t know what it will take to settle our differences, but I’m pretty sure acting like babies in highchairs isn’t it.

>> Public safety officers such as police, lifeguards and paramedics accounted for 51% of city workers who resisted compliance with the mayor’s vaccination mandate. There’s a new motto coming: “To Protect and Infect.”

>> Problems with the state’s unemployment system still aren’t fixed 18 months into the pandemic, with federal data showing Hawaii among the slowest states in processing payments. As long as state workers are getting paid, there’s no emergency.

>> State Rep. Sharon Har, awaiting trial on drunken driving charges and fighting a two-year license suspension for refusing a breathalyzer — required by a law she wrote — is allowed to drive using an ignition interlock that measures alcohol in her blood. Too bad it can’t measure caca in her brain.

>> Blangiardi and the City Council agreed to remove the popular but long-disputed Haiku Stairs across the Koolaus, also known as the “Stairway to Heaven.” The only way you get to heaven in this town is the old-fashioned way: in a hearse.

>> Downsizing continued at the Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation with the departure of five more top rail officials, including chief financial officer Ruth Lohr. Her arm got tired from waving goodbye to all of our money.

>> Former first lady and laundry executive Vicky Cayetano formally announced her candidacy for governor and assured voters, “I am running as my own person.” It’s good to know she’s not running as one of the Pod People.

And the quote of the month … from Health Director Dr. Elizabeth Char on rationing medical care: “We absolutely do not want to play God.” God can’t hide behind the bureaucracy.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.