Hal Okita’s impact on Hawaii golf is remarkable. More remarkable is that it ranked a distant third in his wonderful life.

Family was always first, followed by friends. And he treasured his 27-year Army career at least as much as golf and his beloved baseball.

Hal Okita Jr. died Jan. 19 of heart failure. He would have been 90 next month. He left behind wife of 65 years Rowena Kekua Okita, who died 16 days later, just short of her 88th birthday.

“The purest doctor might say that was heart failure,” said son Mike Okita who, like his father, retired as an Army Colonel. “I’m saying it was a broken heart.”

He and sisters Teri Okita (a freelance CBS correspondent in London), Lynn Wiley (retired university professor) and Elissa Kuhr (middle school vice-principal months from retirement) are coping as well as possible because they know better than anyone how blessed they are. So do the Okitas’ 10 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, with another on the way.

“A lifetime of parental mentoring and living with grace and dignity indirectly provided us with the skills to cope with and navigate these troubled times,” Mike says. “Their demonstrated strength and courage in the face of adversity, particularly mom’s, is more than admirable and what makes them both loved and missed.”

Golf now has to learn to cope without an infinitely optimistic and diligent man who grew to love the game just before he retired from the Army.

Okita cherished a military career that allowed him to see the world — 28 countries and every U.S. state — and learn to succeed at missions while watching each others’ backs.

He readily admitted Rowena got the toughest part of that gig, pointing out he once headed for Vietnam leaving her with four kids and eight puppies.

He went from Army Colonel to General Manager of the U.S. Army Support Command of Hawaii (USASCH), overseeing Kalakaua, Leilehua and Ft. Shafter golf courses. In 12 years, he grew the Army Golf Association to 2,500 members — larger than any private club here.

That was just the start.

After USASCH, Okita helped develop and establish the Royal Kunia course. His “retirement” consisted of serving as General Manager for Mid-Pacific Country Club eight years, then becoming Executive Director of the Hawaii State Golf Association and Aloha Section PGA.

He helped found the HSGA, served as president twice and was on the board. He served as a rules official for years and was instrumental in growing their number, inspired by an Army Open he ran that drew 525 players, but could find only two rules officials.

He also initiated Hawaii’s GHIN Handicapping and Course Rating Committees and helped with Hawaii Junior Golf and Public Links.

The Aloha Section named him an honorary PGA member and honored him with its Ho`okuleana Lifetime Achievement Award. Current ASPGA Executive Director Wesley Wailehua considers Okita a hanai grandfather. Their friendship goes back to when Wailehua was a kid at Mid-Pac CC.

He will truly miss Okita’s innate kindness and special gift for listening and jumping in to solve problems. Wailehua talks now of finding people to continue Okita’s “legacy.”

“He’s definitely one those guys at every single show, but never in front of the curtain,” Wailehua says. “Not many people notice him, but one of the things he told me when I took this job was I need to be in front of the curtain so people understand how the industry feels. It’s hard to do but I do it because of him.”

One of Okita’s golf “missions” took him to Washington D.C. to convince officials to rename Shafter after Walter J. Nagorski, his golf mentor — in part because Nagorski helped “get non-caucasians accepted in the PGA.”

The Makalena family also made an impact. Okita graduated from Saint Louis three years before Hawaii Golf Hall of Famer Ted Makalena and they became good friends. Ted took Okita to Waialae Country Club to play his second round of golf, ever.

While he was struggling, Makalena’s father — who worked at the course — gave him words of wisdom that stayed with Okita the rest of his long, sweet life.

“Never give up, keep swinging,” Makalena told him. “It’s a lifetime game. Unlike football, basketball and baseball, you can golf all your life. Other sports, you cannot.”

Okita, recruited to play on Dayton’s baseball team, never forgot. His handicap was never below 14, but his passion for the game was relentless — on and off the course.

“The ‘bug’ hit me and I am still smitten by this wonderful sport that lets one play on and on, enjoying the never-ending challenge of competing, not just with others, but mostly against oneself,” Okita said a few years ago. “Thankfully there is a golf handicap system that allows us to satisfy our competitive nature.”

And a million ways to grow the game in Hawaii. Okita seemingly found them all.

“He was truly the epitome of All-American,” Teri Okita wrote on a Facebook post about her dad. “Our father was a workhorse, not a showhorse — gladly rolling up his sleeves in service to the Lord, to others, and to the country he loved so much. That’s the playbook he followed throughout his life.”

Meanwhile, with their kids no longer in the Kailua home, Hal’s beloved wife volunteered at Red Cross, delivered meals and newspapers to patients at Castle hospital and — for 36 years! — comforted dying patients at their bedside. Rowena was a Hospice Hawaii Volunteer of the Year.

“They loved people, no matter their backgrounds,” posted Teri, after bringing up her parents’ devoted Catholic upbringing. “They loved traveling and learning about other people and their cultures. Mostly, they loved giving — giving of time, a listening ear, sharing of knowledge and experiences, and helping others.”

The Celebration of Life is planned for April 22, beginning with mass at St. John Vianney in Kailua. A memorial service and interment follow at Diamond Head Memorial.