The door was open, so we stepped inside, shuffled some things around, and then wrote this wish list:
1. Move the Big West basketball tournaments
Nothing like learning the “Fancy Like” dance three months after every TikTok-er moved onto, like, something else. That’s the Big West Conference, which held this year’s basketball tournaments in the spanking-new Dollar Loan Center in Henderson, Nev. Ten of the 11 Big West members have campuses in California, yet it was decided to enter the Las Vegas metropolitan area that is already over-saturated with league tournaments. In pre-pandemic years, the Big West drew decent crowds to tournaments in Southern California. This year, the majority of fans came from Hawaii. Even though the venue was considered a neutral court, the UH band was able to sneak in “Hawaii Pono‘i” after playing the national anthem. What’s more, it’s a difficult arena to find on Google Maps. Punch in “Dollar Loan Center,” and several locations pop up because that is the actual name of the company. Just move the tournament back to California.
2. Start a BWC baseball tournament
It’s late July, and the Pittsburgh Pirates are out of it — but not out of it. There’s always a shot for a wild-card berth in pro baseball. In college baseball, the Big West is the only Division I conference without a postseason tournament. If UC Davis loses its first three series, for example, the Aggies are making wait-’til-next-year plans in early April. Where’s the motivation for the rest of the baseball season? It’s like the high school junior’s car hitting the curb in the first minute of the driver’s road test. Are the next 15 minutes of driving necessary? The Big West needs a postseason baseball tournament.
3. Have a Halawa out-of-business sale
Rage, betrayal, depression. No, we’re not talking about “The Bachelor.” Those were the feelings when University of Hawaii officials were told Aloha Stadium would no longer be suitable for spectator events. Yet 15 months later, the 46-year-old facility has remained unchanged. There are plans — most likely, maybe — to raze the stadium in 2023. It is time to start the cleaning-out process. The jumbo scoreboard should be disassembled, packed in crates that will fit on flat-bed trucks going under the H-1’s Gulick overpass, then reassembled at UH’s Ching Complex. The turf could be donated to a high school. Fans should be able to go in and buy or take everything else remaining, including the seats. You can’t move on until you move out. By the way, dibs on the elevator stool.
4. Only live anthems
Hawaii has musical talent. Pick a church and there are three in the choir who could have long runs on “American Idol.” Desi McKenzie guides youths with angelic voices. There is no reason UH needs to use pre-recorded vocals for the national anthem and “Hawaii Pono‘i.”
5. Bring back food vendors
Back in the day, Howard Egami was the main in-the-stands vendor, yelling out the two-item menu: hot dogs and boiled peanuts. With the return to metal bleachers at the Ching Complex, vendors would be helpful in alleviating the lines at the lone concession stand. Vendors are needed at Les Murakami Stadium, where the elevators literally do not go all the way to the top tier.
On a related note, the best lunch-time meals on the UH campus came from food trucks parked outside Kennedy Theater. It would be nice if they could expand to the Lower Campus, especially on game nights.
6. Omiyage option
Few things are more chaotic than trying to hunt Everything But the Bagel Sesame Seasoning and butter-waffle cookies during business trips. It’s time for Trader Joe’s to open a shop in airports in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas.