The community in its entirety has to focus on domestic violence. Of course, I would say this; I have been saying this for 35 years. It bears repeating.
This cannot be a problem only for social service agencies or domestic violence programs.
Domestic violence intersects with every sector of our marketplace. This includes schools, churches, businesses, government agencies, health care institutions, legal and public safety systems, to name a few.
In this campaign season, it is disheartening to learn that few of our candidates understand the complexity and the cost of domestic violence. They aren’t speaking about it in appearances on television. Not yet, anyway.
The roots of most community challenges are firmly linked to trauma and abuse that occurs in intimate relationships — whether adult, family, sibling, child, elderly or extended family. People turn to drugs or alcohol, develop adverse health conditions, lose sleep, are sabotaged in their work life, have difficulty parenting, suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and are hindered in building healthy relationships.
The system is also impacted in innumerable ways. Law enforcement, health care, courts, corrections, schools, churches and businesses must respond and accommodate the impacts.
We are in the midst of election season. Our sensibility tells us that any new, reelected or appointed leaders must make a commitment and invest in ways to go forward, creating a safe community with healthy families at its core. With the overwhelming prevalence of family violence crossing all socio-economic classes, races, professions and religions, we cannot afford to look the other way, minimize its massive impacts, or underestimate the practical and personal costs.
The glossing over of the challenge of domestic violence has long-term consequences. We can pay now or pay later. Help youth, families, adults suffering the harm of abuse now — or support the mental and physical health costs while maneuvering the public agencies who are called upon to address its incidence.
Priority planning, investment of resources and public awareness are imperative. We are clinging to a mythology that only certain people are experiencing abuse, and so they can be ignored. This mythology is harming us every day. Employers, teachers, clergy, police, judges, health care practitioners see the grave consequences in their practice. Our leaders must rise, educate themselves, and understand the complexity of domestic abuse.
There are many competing community challenges. Important things we must all think about and face in real ways. As with other issues — such as climate change, income inequality, indigenous and marginalized community historical trauma, gender inequity, justice system failures — do we have enough bandwidth to take them all on? What is the alternative? There is none. We all must step up. And we need good leadership to set the example, invest the resources and develop a meaningful blueprint to save our island communities and our island families.
Without attention to the problem of family violence, our community lives in the shadow of a dire future. Everyone knows someone who is affected. Everyone. The shame and the secrets prevail; the victim-blaming and judgment are palpable. We need the voices from the top trickling down to lend force and urgency.
Thus far, we have not seen candidates speaking adequately about this particular problem. We do hear the refrain about homelessness and affordable housing and diversifying our economy. We can only hope that as we get even further into election season, candidates will realize that this community issue must be prioritized, or we are doomed.
Losing children to lifetime misery, maybe crime, likely adverse health conditions. Losing productive workers to the sabotage or harassment by abusive partners. Contributing to the houseless problem when families have to escape. Exacerbating the substance abuse problem. Increasing our prison population. The dots must be connected. The oversight is stunning.
Nanci Kreidman is CEO of Domestic Violence Action Center.
