Of course, the best experience is the in-person experience.
Tumua Tuinei is humorous on TikTok, but he is convulse-inducing hysterical on stage.
Before Zoom, my eldest daughter took a class that was taught on something like Channel 55. She never knew if her tests were graded by the person on the television screen or if it was similar to how a ghost writer answers the late Dear Abby’s mail.
University of Hawaii football games offer a you-have-to-be-there experience: the ha‘a, the Diamond Head backdrop, the first line of “Hawaii Pono‘i,” a Rainbow Warrior holding the Hawaiian flag while racing onto the field, the 120-yard panoramic view, defensive tackle John Tuitupou swivel-smacking the right guard and then the right tackle, Braddah Iz welcoming the fourth quarter with “Take Me Home, Country Road,” the stomp-stomp-stomping when the visiting team faces third-and-1 …
And yet, not everything is ideal in person. We’ve all been behind the Goliath who decided to take his mother’s advice to sit up straight. We used our monthly mortgage for tickets to the Bruno Mars concert only to sit next to dozens of people who were not Bruno Mars trying to sing along to Bruno Mars. And we’ve had to endure the fan with TB — tiny bladder — walking past us over and over.
So if you can’t secure one of the 9,000 tickets for a UH game at the Ching Complex, do not fret — here are seven reasons why watching pay-per-view at home is a solid option:
1. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know some folks are grumbling about the pay-per-view price of $399.99 for eight games or $69.99 per telecast. They insist UH football should be like a public utility and shown for free. All I know is every month HECO and the Board of Water Supply remind me what they think of free utilities. Not many things in life can be bought with a smile. UH is a public university, but it charges a tuition fee. Visitors are charged to hike Diamond Head. But break down the eight-game PPV package, and it comes to $50 a telecast, which might be cheaper than some game tickets. The price is further reduced if your friends come over and kick in some money. Whenever Max Holloway fights, about 14 of us head to my brother-in-law’s to watch. With limited seating at the Ching Complex, you can’t get nearly that many friends to sit together.
2. A lifetime ago, I was a seventh-string guard on Roosevelt’s JV summer team that only played four strings. I can relate to sitting on a bench for a season. Except for the luxury boxes, all seats essentially are benches at the Ching Complex.
3. Let’s say you bring your iPhone and also your work phone to a game. That is still eight fewer than the number of high-powered cameras that Spectrum Sports uses to capture the action. PPV can zoom in to the sweat on head coach Timmy Chang’s nose and then zoom out to show the student section. When a play is under review, PPV subscribers can watch numerous replays. PPV also provides the first-down line, stats and Kanoa Leahey commentary. At the stadium, you get the druncle yelling: “Call it both ways, ref!”
4. What’s a football game without food and beverages? Unlike your garage, lanai or living room, UH’s Lower Campus is not equipped for tailgating. (Food trucks are expected to be available this season.)
5. Restrooms. Yours offers privacy.
6. At home, you choose who sits next to you.
7. Nobody cuts you off after the third quarter.