It’s the last Sunday of September and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> In the latest corruption case, cesspool mogul and serial briber Milton Choy admitted paying $2 million to get $19 million in contracts from former Maui County environment director Stewart Stant, who also pleaded guilty. It seems our local officials are always ready to play “Jeopardy” when “The Price Is Right.”
>> Meantime, 31 lawmakers returned campaign donations from Choy after Sen. J. Kalani English and Rep. Ty Cullen confessed to taking his bribes, and reps of some legislators checked with Choy’s lawyer to see whether they were also targets of the federal probe. So much guilty conscience suggests they should be.
>> State lawmakers were shut out of the Capitol for a day because of a power outage. Many legislators were surprised to learn the lights don’t run on the power of their self-importance.
>> Rebates to taxpayers of up to $300 were held up after the state ran short of blank checks. The blank checks not already allocated to Oahu rail had been set aside for the Aloha Stadium redevelopment.
>> The city ran out of toilet paper for public parks and advised parkgoers to fend for themselves. How can we expect clean government when we can’t even have clean bottoms?
>> City Planning and Permitting Director Dean Uchida and a top assistant resigned over philosophical differences with Mayor Rick Blangiardi. I don’t know whether those hand gesticulations the mayor makes qualify as philosophy.
>> Vandals damaged equipment and delayed the start of the state’s red-light camera ticketing program for 10 Honolulu intersections. If the cameras can’t ID vandals, how can they see who’s running red lights?
>> After failing in its record $4 million bid to defeat Sylvia Luke for lieutenant governor, the Carpenters Union super PAC, Be Change Now, is spending big to control the Maui Council by backing candidates Nohe U‘u-Hodgins, John Pele and Tom Cook. Our new state anthem is “If I Had a Hammer.”
>> The Hawaii Supreme Court invalidated a state constitutional amendment that let prosecutors charge criminals before judges instead of grand juries, potentially upsetting hundreds of felony cases. You know we’re in trouble when judges think the Constitution is unconstitutional.
>> In what has been described as “a game of chicken,” an interisland fare war between Hawaiian and Southwest airlines dropped tickets to $39. Finally, we can visit Tutu without cashing out the 401(k).
>> The University of Hawaii football Warriors entered this weekend as one of only two teams nationally that hadn’t scored a passing touchdown. If this keeps up, Sen. Donna Mercado Kim will be holding hearings on why they won’t let her be quarterback.
And the quote of the month … from Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation Chair Colleen Hanabusa, urging federal approval of the rail recovery plan: “If after all of the difficulties (HART) has faced, we have not learned to build rail, then we have no right to do so. I believe HART has learned to build rail.” Well, half true is better than untrue.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
