The bar is open!

Let’s talk about communication. As an English major and a lover of languages, let’s just say, words mean a lot to me. I am constantly being accused of being “too literal.” But what’s wrong with always saying what you mean, and meaning what you say? The trouble with words is they don’t always convey the full story. And while emojis can represent tone in a text message, what do you do when words are no longer an option?

When I am training new bartenders, one of the first things I try to impart upon them is, “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s going to happen. My job is to teach you how to overcome them, or better yet, how best to avoid them. It starts with your eyes.”

Have you ever watched a border collie herding sheep? They never bark, but instead, control the sheep solely with their gaze. It’s an old hunting instinct leftover from their wolf ancestry. And though the aggression has been bred out of them, and bartenders are hardly wolves, nor guests sheep, the practice of proper eye contact is equally effective. When you make eye contact with someone, they feel acknowledged. Conversely, avoiding eye contact can make a person feel ignored, even alienated. Yet, how many times have we stood patiently at a crowded bar, money in hand, where the bartender wouldn’t even look up? Was she trying to alienate us? Never! But perhaps she felt overwhelmed and was trying to buy herself a few seconds of quiet, to regroup amid the chaos.

I teach my bartenders that, if you truly want to control the crowd, use your eyes. Once your guest feels acknowledged, a simple, “I’ll be right with you,” will go a long way. And smile! While being told to smile can be the most teeth-grittingly aggravating thing to a bartender in the weeds, a natural smile exudes confidence and calm, and assures your guests that despite how tumultuous things may appear, you have everything under control. Sound like an act? There’s a reason for that — bartenders are always on stage.

A former manager of mine once argued that the bartender is the most qualified position in a restaurant, for they are the only person on staff who is both creative and cash-handling. Many of them even hold manager cards, and while some prefer to be trapped behind 3 feet of wood, many of them also work the floor and take tables. All bartenders engage with guests, and of all front-of-the-house servers, they are often regarded as the authority. I remember being a 19-year-old server in a high-volume restaurant, with a frustrated guest who had asked to see a manager. Before I could flag one down, he sauntered up to the bar and began lamenting to the bartender. This bartender was given the presumption of authority. Why, you ask? Because everyone can see the bartender working.

While we can’t always see our server as she disappears behind a bus station, nor the chefs slaving away tirelessly in the steamy kitchen, no one ever takes for granted that the bartender is hard at work because we can see her. Is it any wonder the open kitchen has gained such popularity? Not only does it make for a quieter, cleaner kitchen atmosphere, but it actually generates increased respect for the chefs and line cooks, both from the guests and front-of-the-house staff, because no longer are their indispensable contributions hidden behind a foot of drywall and subway tile. In an era of emails and Zooming with your video off, working from home or even traveling for work — when the traditional office is becoming more and more a thing of the past — being able to visibly see each other hard at work, as one team toward a common goal, is perhaps the most invaluable nonverbal communication of them all.

The working (wo)man’s Margarita

Ingredients:
1 ounce Mi Campo tequila blanco
0.75 ounces fresh pink grapefruit juice
0.5 ounces fresh lime juice
0.5 ounces agave syrup (1 part agave nectar to 1 part water)
2 ounces Fever-Tree sparkling pink grapefruit
3 drops rose flower water
1 pinch Maldon sea salt

Directions: Shake all ingredients, except Fever-Tree sparkling pink grapefruit, briefly over ice. Add Fever-Tree sparkling pink grapefruit to the mix, and strain over fresh ice into a Collins glass. Garnish with two thinly sliced ruby red grapefruit wheels.

Alicia Yamachika is a bartender and craft mixologist, who currently is the key account manager at Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits on Oahu. Follow her on Instagram (@alicia_yamachika). Her column will appear every second Wednesday in Crave.