David Shapiro: Who needs Wrestlemania with the Legislature in session?

It’s the last Sunday in February and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> Gov. Josh Green continued to promise a faster and more nimble government, saying, “Sooner or later, people are going to realize that we shouldn’t do things the same old way.” He forgot our Legislature is the Sacred Keeper of the same old way.

>> The Senate shot down Green’s first Cabinet nominee, three more are in trouble and lawmakers derided much of his signature $312 million tax cut. It’s the kind of honeymoon Mike Myers got in “So I Married an Axe Murderer.”

>> State Sen. Kurt Fevella called Green’s housing director “a witch,” and former Gov. Neil Abercrombie, testifying for a Green nominee, called Sen. Jarrett Keohokalole “an idiot.” Then they all sang “My Funny Valentine.”

>> State Sen. Stanley Chang went fire-and-brimstone on gambling, seeking to slap a 30% excise tax on Hawaii residents who vacation in Las Vegas. More of the lack-wit leadership that’s caused so many of us to move there.

>> Lawmakers had little enthusiasm for a proposal to make the Legislature full time, signaling they like things the way they are. What’s not to like about a $72,348 part-time job with the right to take lucrative outside gigs from special interests?

>> After the China spy balloon scare, airline pilots reported a large balloon in the sky above Hawaii. It was just another of Green’s ideas the Legislature hadn’t gotten around to shooting down.

>> U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz is following his predecessor, Daniel Inouye, as “King of Earmarks” after scoring $530 million in pork for Hawaii in the 2023 budget, tops among Democrats. He’s also in contention for “King of Ears.”

>> As an aging Congress sets records as as the oldest ever, Sen. Mazie Hirono will do her part by seeking a new term at 77. You know we’re in trouble when the policymakers have more wrinkles than the policies.

>> City Transportation Director Roger Morton projected the first segment of Oahu rail from East Kapolei to Aloha Stadium will open in “June-ish.” A fitting timetable for a project whose construction has been clown-ish.

>> Clean-energy advocate Jeff Mikulina slammed the state for not including electric vehicle charging stations in the new $377 million airport rental car facility, asking, “How could we shoot ourselves in both feet?” By aiming for both brain cells.

>> Former Hawaii U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard is planning an “electrifying” book on why she broke from the Democratic Party. The unplugged summary is that being a right-wing TV hysteric pays better.

And the quote of the month … from former state Sen. Gary Hooser after House Judiciary Chairman David Tarnas killed term limits for legislators: “The unilateral power of the chair to kill bills without holding a public vote is a key ingredient in the formula for corruption at the Hawaii Legislature. This is why crooked businessmen can bribe crooked politicians to kill bills they don’t like. This is why big money gives big money to the chairs of big money committees.” Bingo! If only they’d speak truth to power when they’re in power.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.