My family is of mixed faith, and though I’m not Christian, I went with the flow and joined the others in celebrating Christmas.
But as the kids and grandkids grew older, festivities became more subdued, and I backed away from embracing a holiday that wasn’t mine, other than to enjoy the pleasant vibes of the season.
Then several years ago my daughter revealed, somewhat to my surprise, that she’d drawn her spirituality from her Jewish side — my side.
I was embarrassed; we’d always observed Hanukkah and lit the menorah candles, but I didn’t take it as seriously as I would have if I’d known her interest.
I didn’t remember the proper blessings to say over the candle lighting, so I faked it with Hebrew words from my bar mitzvah and Yiddish exclamations my grandmother used.
I figured He would forgive me on the principle that it’s the thought that counts.
Once I realized my daughter’s interest, I refreshed my memory on the proper candle prayers and the story of Hanukkah. I rediscovered the spiritual meaning she found in the eight days of candles, which represent universal light, undying hope and the resilience of a people.
My youngest grandchild came to share my daughter’s interest in the faith and took over the prayers and storytelling from a young age. One menorah we light is my first one as a child, a tiny treasure that uses birthday candles and is still around thanks to my mom’s meticulous curation of family memories.
My daughter presides over the preparation of a Hanukkah feast centered around potato latkes and a roast or brisket. It’s gotten so Hanukkah has supplanted Christmas as the main December holiday in our household, going to show that every Jew has his day if he lives long enough.
Jews are a people as much as a religion; even if you don’t observe the faith, you’re still a Jew. I’ve been Jewish mostly on the cultural side with intermittent observance of the religion.
I occasionally attended church with a girlfriend who was Baptist and a surfing buddy who was Catholic. I learned judo at a friend’s Buddhist center.
As a teen in Hilo, which had no Jewish institutions, I participated in youth fellowship programs of the Congregational, Methodist and Episcopal churches — not because I’d converted, but because I enjoyed sharing positive social energy with my friends.
While I’ve not been rigidly observant of the Jewish faith, it remains the center of my spirituality. And Hanukkah reminds me of the soul-lifting power of a simple burning candle, intrinsic to so many religious rituals and an anodyne for keeping grounded.
I used to light Sabbath candles at sundown each Friday and memorial yahrzeit candles for lost loved ones, but got distracted from it by life’s hassles. Resuming those will be a top resolution of 2025.
One thing I’ve learned from my involvement with so many religions is that they’re all founded on some version of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It’s a profound ethic to which all of us of every faith should recommit as we prepare to face the challenges ahead.
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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
