Sunday’s Manoa murder-suicide that ended with the death of two adults, two children and one teenager has left our community reeling. There is a feeling of helplessness and a diminished sense of safety for everyone when a tragedy like this occurs.

But we are not powerless when it comes to domestic violence. First, we must never, ever minimize its threat or ignore red flags. When we minimize abuse, families, teachers, doctors and friends can suffer life-altering regret: “Why didn’t I reach out, what could I have done? Why didn’t I do anything?”

We can make our beloved island home safer and healthier and lessen the danger to our families by being alert to signs of domestic violence, including visible cuts, scratches and bruises, control, jealousy and verbal abuse. There are also less obvious signs, like behavior changes. While heightened stress levels don’t cause domestic violence, they can result in angry outbursts and loss of control, which at their most extreme can cause catastrophic events.

We don’t know — and may never know exactly — what precipitated Sunday’s horrific incident. But we do know that domestic violence is a complex social issue. In today’s fast-paced world, many of us have little or no connection to our community. That disconnect can create isolation and vulnerability. If you hear your neighbors shouting or arguing, you likely don’t want to interfere in a private family matter. But you can report suspected abuse anonymously to the police, educate yourself about domestic violence, and provide resources to victims or families who may be at risk.

Together, we can create safe spaces where youth and adults can speak up about family hardships, such as depression or financial stress, without feeling ashamed or judged.

Our community programs are the foundation of these efforts, and we need the local and state governments to fully fund them, so we never refuse help to anyone in need. We can strengthen outreach efforts within the community, such as training for police departments and Hawaii Department of Education employees, so they better recognize and serve victims of domestic violence.

While Sunday’s event is unique in its severity and depth, domestic violence occurs every day in Hawaii among every income level, age, racial identity and gender. Thirteen percent of the general adult population in Hawaii report experiencing intimate partner violence at some point in their lives.

In 2023, the Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC) staff fielded 7,001 calls for assistance, closed 167 legal cases, and created 496 safety plans for domestic violence victims through our Hale Maluhia Supportive Housing facility.

DVAC provides a range of support services. Our staff helps domestic violence victims navigate the legal, health and social service systems, and provides support groups, emergency housing, crisis intervention, legal represen- tation, referrals, risk assessments and safety plans.

This deeply saddening event has shocked all of Hawaii, as we rarely see violence of this magnitude. We will continue to mourn, but we can also commit to doing everything in our power to prevent domestic violence and protect our community members from harm.

Monique Ibarra is CEO of the Domestic Violence Action Center.