Ready or not, here comes APEC as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» Teddy Bear World in Waikiki is exhibiting life-size teddies resembling President "Bear-ack" Obama and 10 of the other world leaders coming to Honolulu for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation meetings. The store hoped to make plush replicas of all 21 heads of state attending APEC, but political egos took more stuffing than anticipated.

» Authorities continued a series of sweeps to remove homeless camps from the view of APEC delegates — while insisting the cleanups are not sweeps and not related to APEC. That nobody is buying it suggests a failure to miscommunicate.

» University of Hawaii faculty and students chanting "APEC sucks" disrupted a pre-conference event on campus. With that slogan, it’s hard to tell whether they’re anti-globalization or anti-intellect.

» Obama will stay over to hold a political fundraiser at the Disney Aulani Resort for $1,000 a head — or $5,000 if you want your picture taken with the first couple. You can take a picture with Mickey and Minnie for free, but they don’t give bailouts.

» Former Councilman Rod Tam got only two days in jail for 34 counts of stealing taxpayer money and misusing his campaign fund, and District Judge Randal Shintani agreed to waive fines and wipe Tam’s record clean if he stays out of trouble for a year. This sentence makes a slap on the wrist look like capital punishment.

» The judge allowed Tam to postpone his brief prison stay until the end of the year so he can collect the maximum amount of state unemployment benefits. How did this get to be about society repaying its debt to Rod Tam?

» Safeway apologized for having a pregnant woman and her husband arrested and their 2-year-old daughter hauled off by child welfare for forgetting to pay $5 for sandwiches. It’s the aloha spirit, Guantanamo style.

» Hawaii Republicans are picking a new chairman this weekend to lead a party of pachyderms that holds no major state offices and has only nine of 76 seats in the Legislature. The chosen applicant will need a broom, a dustpan and a good concession speech.

» U.S. Rep. Mazie Hirono’s campaign appealed to supporters to wish her a happy birthday while Rep. Colleen Hanabusa pleaded with folks to "like" her on Facebook. Politics has become the last refuge of kids who weren’t asked to dance in high school.

And the quote of the week … from Mayor Peter Carlisle on community concerns about APEC security: "Even though we live in Hawaii, where the sun is shining and it’s beautiful, there are some people who grumble every day." Mostly about public officials who think the sun shines only on them.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.