Lofty talk of libraries and books leads us off as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» President Barack Obama noted Hawaii’s interest in hosting his presidential library and said he hopes to find a role for his birth state. We’ll get the shave ice concession at his presidential library in Chicago.

» University of Hawaii regents approved another $260,000 for consultants to study accounting missteps in the Stevie Wonder concert scam — on top of $1.2 million already spent on consultants. How many millions does it cost to figure out how they lost $200,000?

» Rep. Isaac Choy, an accountant, said the consultants will only tell UH regents the same thing they could learn from a $32 CPA handbook. These regents would hire a consultant to read them the book.

» U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry gave a speech asserting that every American has "a right to be stupid if you want to be." It must have been a relief for UH regents to hear that.

» U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz said he’s lost 12 pounds from stress since replacing the late Sen. Daniel Inouye. Somebody should explain to him the difference between a U.S. senator and a contestant on "The Biggest Loser."

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie wants an end to Hawaii’s "accusatory, denunciatory atmosphere" on contentious issues. He should have been more careful of whohe accused and denounced on his way up.

» Senate President Donna Mercado Kim drew fire for appointing a lobbyist for Monsanto, which wants more Maui and Oahu water, to the nominating committee for the state Water Commission. Lawmakers have expanded their service of special interests to include self-service.

» Sen. Clayton Hee warned North Shore demonstrators against noisiness, scolding, "This isn’t Aloha Stadium. This isn’t a neighborhood board meeting. This is the Senate." Shhhh, be quiet so senators can hear the Monsanto lobbyists whispering in their ears.

» Rep. Faye Hanohano, unhappy that paintings the state hung in her office weren’t by Native Hawaiian artists, told workers that "any work done by haoles, Japs, paranges, pakes, you can just take away right now." Our legislators find new ways to spread aloha every day.

» On a personal note, let me brag about my granddaughter Sloane, whose teacher commented on her essay, "Excellent writing! Although your understanding of the information is not exactly correct, your arguments were strong." Is she a Shapiro or what?

And the quote of the week … from Nomi Kaheaonalani Carmona on Monsanto’s hand in picking water commissioners: "It is beyond belief that a corporate representative with a clear agenda of wanting more water would have a voice in who serves on the Water Commission. What was the Senate thinking?" Senators’ campaign treasurers are thinking, "Ka-ching."

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.