How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
— William Shakespeare
Age has brought me appreciation for the tremendous spiritual power of a simple burning candle.
My mom died five years ago, and for the first time I lit the Yahrzeit that memorializes the anniversary of a loved one’s passing.
A favorite uncle died soon after, and I lit for him as well. I’ve recently written the memorial park where my family goes to rest for the appropriate dates by the Jewish calendar to honor the memories of my dad and grandparents.
The Yahrzeit is a small 24-hour candle in clear glass, and because of its little size, you never believe it’ll actually burn the whole 24 hours.
But it does, and watching it flicker is mesmerizing; you can’t help but remember the lives of your loved ones and the impact they had on yours, as well as stumble upon new insights about life itself.
The moving experience from the Yahrzeit inspired me to return to the practice of lighting a Sabbath candle at sunset every Friday.
This is a three-hour stick candle that I commune with alone in an otherwise dark room as I ponder my week, my life, my relationships — and how I could make them all better.
It’s some of the most gratifying time I spend all week, and I feel out of sync when commitments occasionally force me to miss the Sabbath lighting.
The mother of all Jewish candle traditions is Hanukkah, which began on Sunday.
We light two menorahs in our house — the elegant one my mom brought us from her 70th-birthday pilgrimage to Israel, and a tiny one that burns birthday candles, which dates back to my childhood holiday celebrations and has now been appropriated by my granddaughters, 9 and 8.
One of the girlsidentifies as Filipino-Scottish and the other as Mexican-Samoan, and neither has any connection to Judaism except through me.
But both seemed to find spiritual meaning in lighting the Hanukkah candles, which represent universal light, undying hope and the resilience of a people.
The girls looked up the Hanukkah prayer in Hebrew to check me on my reciting of it and eventually took over the reading themselves.
Jews are a people as much as a faith, and if you’re born into it you’re always a Jew whether you’re observant of the religion or not.
I’m not ready to fully return to the faith, which hasn’t been a significant part of my life since my Bar Mitzvah at 13, but I’m learning from the candles that observing some of the simple rituals I grew up with can be a powerful tonic for keeping my life grounded.
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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
