‘Auntie Debs’ turns visits to a nephew into a party for 70

Debs Dudoit started bringing a couple of pots of pasta every month to the U.S. Vets center at Barbers Point whenever she’d visit a nephew who was sheltered there 10 years ago. But now she brings a live band, presents and a smorgasbord for a crowd of 70 on various holidays throughout the year.

“Auntie Debs,” as old-timers call her, held her 10th annual Christmas party this month for men struggling with adversity at the veterans transitional shelter, just to show them someone cares.

“I just do it from my heart. I love to do it. I love being with them that day. It makes me cry just to see the smile on their faces,” she said, her voice breaking. At all the gatherings, held under a big tent, “I get so many hugs and kisses, and (I’ve gotten) three marriage proposals!”

The transitional shelter for homeless men is one of the programs run by nonprofit U.S. Veterans Initiative on Shangri La Road in Kalaeloa. The center also offers drug/alcohol treatment programs and provides long-term housing for disabled vets. Visit 808ne.ws/helpVETS.

“The guys are thankful for home-cooked food,” Dudoit said, but she also gives out sheets, towels, toiletries and clothing provided by friends and relatives, who she’s always pestering for donations. For Christmas she collected enough money to give everyone $10 gift certificates and gift-wrapped door prizes. Island Kontrast volunteered to play music that prompted a few to get up and dance at the Dec. 10 party, but there have also been taiko drummers, hula halau, worship teams and even a lion dance over the years, she said.

For the first five years, Dudoit and her friends served food every month; but in the last five they cut back to about four holidays a year. “We do whatever we can when we can,” she said.

Husband Mitch Dudoit said he is more than happy “serving those who have served us.”

“We’ve seen a lot of guys come in and go out,” he said. “We want to let them know people love them, appreciate them and haven’t forgotten about them.”

Debs Dudoit said her father, who is a veteran, also comes to the parties and “goes crazy” swapping stories with the guys.

Glenn Kalaekepa, a veteran who has been living at the shelter off and on since 2007, said he is appreciative of the encouragement they get. “She (Auntie Debs) and her husband have really helped us,” he said.

Tearing up, Kalaekepa talked about striving to “stay clean and sober — it’s a gift. You gotta work harder than you can ever imagine. … There is a God; he cares for us.”

Edward Rodriguez, nicknamed “Chief,” is a former alcohol and drug addict who spent eight years in prison and became a permanent resident at the shelter due to a disability.

“Auntie Debs, she’s awesome. I’ve known her for five years. Every time I see her, I just start crying; she reminds me of my mom, reminds me of my sister. This is the only get-together I have, any time Auntie Deb comes.”

Many of the volunteers the last few years are with Anchor Church (aka Hope Chapel Kaneohe Bay), which the Dudoits attend, but others come from different churches or are longtime friends. Even before she started visiting the veterans with friend Joy Yamashita a decade ago, Dudoit had her own ministry, My Father’s House, which focuses on women “turned off by church,” who meet once a month to get to know Jesus, she said.

Dudoit doesn’t make the vets listen to a sermon, but if a man opens up while talking story with her or her friends, they can offer to pray, Dudoit said.

Carmelo Santiago-Lopez and wife Jessica have been cooking and serving meals the past seven years with Dudoit. Santiago-Lopez, a Vietnam veteran, was in food service for 27 years at the Haleiwa Correctional Facility, and sees a few familiar faces at the vets center.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he said, because many of the men are away from home and their families, and “they need someone to cheer them up.”

Among the friends and groups that have helped Dudoit over the years are Ulu Crowell, U‘i Kuiee and Ron and Momi Szypulski.