David Shapiro: Voters crave clean government before pols clean us out

It’s the last Sunday in July and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> The Honolulu Star-Advertiser’s Hawaii Poll found 81% of voters feel the state Legislature hasn’t done enough to clean up corruption among its members. The other 19% must be applicants for public-private partnerships.

>> Police Chief Arthur J. Logan said HPD is looking into a series of “smash-and-grab” burglaries that have hit Oahu businesses. “Smash and grab” is a strategy devised by the Legislature after “gut and replace” was ruled unconstitutional.

>> Gov. David Ige vetoed 28 bills from the Legislature, including one to ban flavored tobacco products he said was written so as to be “effectively useless.” In other words, typical work from the state Legislature.

>> Ige unveiled a first-in-the-nation state agency to help deal with mental illness, the Office of Wellness and Resiliency. Getting mental health advice from the government is like getting marriage counseling from Johnny Depp.

>> UFC fighter BJ Penn promised a “scrap” in his GOP gubernatorial debate with James “Duke” Aiona and Heidi Tsuneyoshi, but media described the encounter as a “lovefest.” He does his best scrapping in an octagon or bar.

>> In the final Democratic debate for the state’s top job, Vicky Cayetano, Josh Green and Kai Kahele traded personal attacks. It was a debate about character by characters out of “Arrested Development.”

>> Keith Hayashi was sworn in as Hawaii’s third schools superintendent in five years, after negotiating a job description with the Board of Education on his role with bureaucrats, unions, politicians and parents. They finally settled on “piranha food.”

>> The Department of Health dropped indoor masking in Hawaii public schools for the new school year. Our “new normal” for COVID-19 is using keiki as canaries in the coal mine.

>> Honolulu rail CEO Lori Kahikina said cracking pillars supporting the train guideway may have to be reinforced by “hammerhead piers.” The planned fix is being mapped out by her dunderhead peers.

>> Police warned the public to beware of fast talkers who are tricking people into paying large sums for fake gold jewelry after telling them tales of woe. It’s similar to how former mayors Mufi Hannemann and Kirk Caldwell got rail funded.

>> Mayor Rick Blangiardi said he was blindsided by the large number of city job vacancies thwarting his goals because the issue never came up when he ran for office. So his idea of homework was counting on election opponents to tell him the city’s problems?

>> The public was asked to limit 911 calls for a time because of technical problems with the system. In the interim, people needing help were advised to call 1-800-AINOKEA.

And the quote of the month … from state Comptroller Curt Otaguro on the challenge of building a new $400 million Aloha Stadium: “We’re not just replacing a football stadium with a football stadium.” It’s more like replacing a football stadium with a money pit that bleeds taxpayers while enriching politicians and developers.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.