I’ve always loved math, but I still remember that in high school the entire calculus class — myself included — was clueless about the necessity of derivatives and integrals in our lives. (I’m still not sure, to be honest.) Our teacher, Mr. Opre, told us to “talk the talk and walk the walk” until we started to really understand what we were doing. At first I didn’t know what he was talking about, but what he meant was that we needed to go through the motions (as in, just follow the mathematical steps) until it started to feel like we actually knew what we were doing. Slowly but surely his advice worked, and I was calculating integrals with gusto.

What does any of this have to do with dating? Some of us are jaded by the dating process, and some of us are feeling insecure about getting back out there. Some of us might feel like we lost a sense of ourselves in our last relationship, so we need to get back into the things we love to do. If anything here sounds like it might be true, then I’m going to give the same advice that Mr. Opre gave: Talk the talk and walk the walk. In essence, maybe “fake it till you make it” isn’t bad advice!

It’s fairly well known that the act of smiling can actually make you happier. So, if smiling can, in fact, make you happier, can talking the talk and walking the walk make you more confident in dating? I’d venture to say yes.

Let’s say someone asks, “What do you like to do for fun?” You have two options: You could put yourself down, saying something like, “Oh, I don’t know. I guess I like to do my daily crossword puzzle and work out sometimes. That’s about all.” Or, you could own it and talk the talk of confidence, even if you’re not feeling it quite yet. “I’m trying to get into some new activities, but for now I’ve rediscovered my love for crossword puzzles, and I just started this new boot camp class at the gym. It’s hard work!” Which person would you rather date?

If you feel jaded or insecure, when you get to that date, it’s important that you exude some confidence. Rather than making the person you’re with think, “She really doesn’t think very highly of herself.” Your date will instead think, “I can’t believe she made time for me tonight. … What a catch!”

So, talk the talk, walk the walk and calculate some integrals. (OK, that last one is optional.) Thanks, Mr. Opre!