Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Thursday, April 25, 2024 80° Today's Paper


Caldwell’s new campaign ad uses an uncommon strategy

Lee Cataluna

Kirk Caldwell has a new campaign commercial playing on local radio stations. And so it begins.

The first part of the 30-second ad is kind of like a skit. It portrays fourth-grade Kirk Caldwell competing in a spelling bee in 1964. It’s his turn and he gets the word “infrastructure.”

Kid Kirk has a perky, know-it-all kind of voice. Fictional Kid Kirk Caldwell is apparently just like Actual Adult Kirk Caldwell, just several octaves higher.

Infrastructure is a really long word to spell out loud, especially at that pitch, but Kid Kirk is really into it.

I, N, F …

Spoiler: Kid Kirk gets it right. Of course. But that’s not the end of the commercial.

When the moderator of the spelling bee (who sounds much like Mrs. Puff from SpongeBob) lets Kid Kirk know that he’s correct, the precocious pre-politician takes the opportunity to give a very thorough definition of the word.

As if the fictional moderator had asked for the definition.

As if real voters don’t know the definition.

The second half of the ad has the Actual Adult Kirk Caldwell chuckling over the dramatization, saying it didn’t really start that way but that he is still passionate about infrastructure.

Cue the slack key guitar:

“Aloha. I’m Kirk Caldwell, and the sad truth is that we haven’t been keeping up with our infrastructure for decades. But we’ve been working to turn that around — improving our roads, sewers, parks and playgrounds and completing more than a third of our rail transit guideway. Still, we have much more to do. And as mayor, I’ll keep working to get the job done for all of you.”

As far as campaign ads go, this one is a bit off the regular menu. On the one hand, it can be seen as a clever way to make the oppressively boring yet truly essential topic of infrastructure more palatable, perhaps even entertaining. On the other hand, it’s a fictional depiction of an actual professional in a leadership position. That’s one thing if you’re selling malasadas or Gummi Bears; it’s another if it’s the current mayor of Honolulu who would like another term in that very grown-up job.

There’s a moment in the script, though, that is rarely heard in campaign ads. Call it self-deprecation, a small moment of charming vulnerability or maybe some elevated category of “humble-brag.”

When Kid Kirk gives the protracted definition of infrastructure, the moderator tries, albeit kindly, to stop him several times. Finally, to make him stop talking, she says, with a note of irritation in her Mrs. Puff voice:

“Kirk Caldwell, please sit down.”

Gosh.

Given the sharply adversarial relationship between Caldwell and his assumed challenger, it seems either an act of bravery or a momentary lapse to be so unguarded. Can you imagine any other politician paying for a moment like that?

“Ernie Martin, please sit down.”

Naw, we won’t be hearing that. At least not in an Ernie Martin ad.


Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.


74 responses to “Caldwell’s new campaign ad uses an uncommon strategy”

  1. kauai says:

    Perhaps Kirk Caldwell’s next radio ad will have him spelling “r-a-i-l w-i-l-l r-u-n o-n o-b-s-o-l-e-t-e s-t-e-e-l w-h-e-e-l-s c-o-s-t-i-n-g t-e-n b-i-l-l-i-o-n d-o-l-l-a-r-s”. And Ernie Martin can do the same since he also supports this ever-escalating cost of a rail project which will NOT alleviate traffic. It’s all about infrastructure which we and the future generations will be paying dearly for because of these recent and current politicians. Absolutely disgusting.

  2. kekelaward says:

    He had 4 years and all he did was squander millions, not on infrastructure, but instead on rail. The only thing he improved was his and his friends financial wealth.

    • palani says:

      But we’ve been working to turn that around — improving our roads, sewers, parks and playgrounds and completing more than a third of our rail transit guideway.

      Really? Obvious to everyone except our Mayor, “our roads, sewers, parks and playgrounds” have been robbed of precious resources diverted to rail.

      • mcc says:

        Don’t forget the handivan and the once good bus service.

      • cojef says:

        Conscience for all infrastructure work not done during his administration now coming to roost! Promises for the future will not be honored by this typical politician, all speak from both sides of their mouth. Lies or half truths at best!

    • HAWAII_BOY_008 says:

      Agree….remember the fast food ad…”Where’s da beef?” The buggah wen support ex Gov Neil, kowtow to the developers, Honolulu is for the highest bidding, no mo vision for addressing homeless except to SWEEP and HIDE…and now allowing a super high rise Waikiki project for his local buddies K&M, and a rail system that will not be completed till after he LEAVES office in 2020 (If he wins re-election). So he can walk away from it all…that is the best Oahu can have for a Mayor? No wonder the public is so mad with incumbent politicians locally and nationally. We cannot have 4 more years at Honolulu Hale with the same buggah…we will be wasting our future…so sad…

    • Keolu says:

      Squandered millions or billions?

    • choyd says:

      Something tells me you don’t get out much. Regardless of what you feel about rail, to think that our roads haven’t improved since Harris-Haneman is pretty ignorant. The road in front of my drive way didn’t get paved as THREE mayors came and went. It got paved with Caldwell.

  3. FWS says:

    As much as I hate to admit it, Caldwell has done a pretty good job. I supported Carlisle, but during the Carlisle and Mufi eras, we had water line breaks every day. Pot holes were everywhere. And only Caldwell has been able to do anything about clearing out the homeless. Can’t solve the problem without new vagrancy laws, but he’s taken a lot of positive actions. As for rail, all we can do now is wait and see if it delivers. Any actions now to stop it would just delay the inevitable and raise the cost. What is unfortunate is that the state seems to have put all their traffic eggs in the rail basket. Someone should be looking for additional traffic solutions too. What about Cayetano’s buses? Why can’t we build an elevated highway over the H-1? There must be more solutions out there…

    • Larry01 says:

      Agreed. So many people around here just dump on him all the time for one reason – rail. People who don’t have blinders on and can look around Honolulu see that under his guidance, the city has gotten better in many respects.

      • islandsun says:

        Name the ways….

        • Larry01 says:

          Roads paved. Fewer water main breaks (remember when it seemed like a weekly occurrence?). DOING something about getting homeless off the sidewalks. Better safety check process (not annual). New buses. More efficient DMV.

        • kekelaward says:

          Larry01, these are all the things that we pay for and that the city should be taking care of anyway. If those millions of dollars went to problem we’ve had for decades, rather than the train, the city would be much closer to being first class, rather than third world.

    • choyd says:

      Buses still feed into the choke points of the road system. The point of rail is to provide a transport system that largely ignores the road systems. If your road system is already congested, adding more vehicles to it doesn’t help (a point of basic physics lost on many here). Hence why we should also bring back that ferry boat service and expand it. Both it and the rail largely ignore the choke points within our road system.

      • PCWarrior says:

        You don’t know squat about physics. They added another lane on the freeway at the Pearl City cutoff and that has helped tremendously in moving traffic along. There are billions of things that could have been done on our existing lanes with the billions we are wasting on rail that actually would have improved traffic. Rail is just burning money for nothing.

        • choyd says:

          And what happens when those vehicles hit the choke points off the freeway? Are you aware that there are roads other than freeways? Doesn’t appear so. Tell me, what happens when the buses star to back up the onramps and off ramps in ways that cars just don’t? Also, tell me how a bus and car have the same delaying impact of an accident on a freeway. And you think you can claim I don’t understand physics? Look in the mirror.

          Don’t attempt to insult someone before examining their argument. That’s what Winston and Thos do and why they get torn new holes every time they post.

        • Keolu says:

          I don’t think we can argue that yes, rail has it’s merits and some features that can be beneficial. That said, Oahu’s rail has been just a boondoggle that has little to do with traffic relief. The rail used the façade of traffic relief to get the public’s approval. Since then, what has happened?

          The rail doesn’t go to UH Manoa, which was it’s original destination. We started building from outward into town. A rail segment from Ala Moana to UH Manoa would have far more impact than Ewa to the Stadium.

          The rail cost overruns and poor management is hard to swallow at this point. Out in the Ewa plains, we could have built the tracks on the ground instead of towering concrete pillars. Oh well, the rail will be eternal (for taxes) and a legacy for someone.

        • Keolu says:

          And choyd, you sometimes make good points, but you act so condescending at times. If we were having a conversation at a table you acted and spoke the way you do here, you’d get beaten up a lot.

        • choyd says:

          Keolu, look at the intelligence of the posters here. Cricket gives me flak for being so contemptuous of so many here, but with comments like PC’s and that truly boneheaded one that some complete failure from the DOE asked me about how we’d get the electricity to power industrial electrolysis (PV you colossal piece of trash, which I explained in the post he replied to!), coupled with truly asinine comments like “pollution is a democrat myth” and “astronomy and geology are religions” I have little but contempt for the incredibly low IQs that post here.

          Put yourself in my position, would you treat people like that who CONSTANTLY prove their lack of any functioning brain any notion of respect? No one knows everything. But a demonstrated severe distaste to even bother to lift a finger to learn anything is something I cannot tolerate.

        • Keolu says:

          Choyd, this forum is just a subset our society and you will have people who shoot from the hip with comments or are completely ignorant of the subject matter. Let it go and ignore it. No need to increase your blood pressure medication because someone’s comments seems “out there”.

          Ever see the cartoon about the internet obsessive?

          “Coming to bed honey”

          “No, I can’t, someone on the internet is wrong”

        • PCWarrior says:

          Here’s the thing about you choyboy. You ain’t nothing brother. Nothing. NOTHING. You think you got all the answers and everybody else knows nothing. Again, reread: you nothing brother. Nothing. All the posters here got no intelligence but you Albert Freaking Einstein right? Got it you freaking chump. Take a hike pal. Agree with Keolu treat people like that in person and I hope you can either defend yourself like Bruce Lee or you got excellent medical insurance.

        • choyd says:

          PCWarrior, too incompetent to use Google to research what an “on ramp” is.

          Know what PC, I know what an on ramp is. That’s more than you do.

          Still want to insult me that I don’t understand physics?

          Pretty bad that when shown you’re wrong you resort to physical threats of violence.

      • mcc says:

        Mufi had a ferry. It was a failure, like him and Caldwell.

        • choyd says:

          Why was it a failure? My understanding is that it was a pilot project and partly not renewed due to budget cuts.

        • islandsun says:

          nothing to do with budget cuts was the EIS that failed in the courts

    • mcc says:

      Now we have watermain breaks once a week, our roads are still full of potholes, and homeless get swept from place to place with nowhere to go. What has he done except extend our excise taxes and built almost half a rail with twice as much money. He is a total failure as far as I can see.

    • wiliki says:

      Caldwell has done an outstanding job.

  4. BluesBreaker says:

    Like it or not, Kirk Caldwell will be mayor for the next four years. And, notwithstanding Lee Cataluna’s snarkiness, it’s a great ad.

  5. McCully says:

    Why doesn’t young Kirk say I’m taking Rail all the way to my bank account and will bankrupt the city along the way.

  6. krusha says:

    At least it’s not a commercial of somebody kicking a can down the road like the previous mayors have done for decades.

  7. Kaaihue4Mayor says:

    Someone who makes more with his side job at a bank, to me sounds unethical.
    The problem is that him and his wife grose in a million dollars in salary a year.
    This is the example of why people are homeless.
    This is a salary hoard. #TakeBackHawaii #Kaaihue4Mayor #Kaaihue4Congress

  8. Pali_Hwy says:

    Kirk is a savvy user of the media, adept at polishing the apple. Self aggrandizement goes along with it. Beware of the new “legacy” projects. Hipster alert, they don’t serve the majority of the residents.

  9. islandsun says:

    The most disliked politician clown on Oahu. Mayor jacka$$ also has no respect from city employees

  10. mitt_grund says:

    Typical cladwell shibai, waha, and manure.

  11. mcc says:

    “It is cheaper to build it now and tear it down later (rail) than not to build it at all.” “On time , on budget” Get this one term mayor out!

  12. yobo says:

    I was hoping for the Star Advertiser to run a survey/poll on Caldwell & Ernie Martin. In terms of their popularity. Or any legislator or council member for that fact.

    I’m sure it would be interesting to see what the ‘people’ think of them.

    Terms are up this year and voting is this fall.

    • iwanaknow says:

      If you don’t vote, then no grumble ya?

      Can’t wait to see the political signs sprout up again…..let the eye pollution begin!

      I see the Bernie signs on the Windward side already.

      My street got paved this year…….kudo’s to all.

  13. from_da_cheapseats says:

    Kirk was annoying when he was young…also diligent…so, sigh, then as now, he gets the job done, or nearly dies trying… he’s smart, but i’m glad he has a sense of humor about himself, that’s his best part. Good article

  14. Wazdat says:

    You people who voted for this CLOWN should be ashamed. Kirk is NOT a leader and a Terrible Mayor.

    What happened to ON time and ON budget ??? oh that’s right typical political B$ to please the uneducated voters !

    Wake up Hawaii this guy is NOT what we need to make this city better.

    • Alohaguy96734 says:

      The people who support and vote for Caldwell should stand up and be counted—then they should all pay for the billions extra rail is going to cost over what the liar-mayor promised. They want him, they should pay.

  15. wiliki says:

    lol. We need humor

  16. fiveo says:

    If Oahu cannot do any better than Kirk Caldwell, then we are truly doomed and those contemplating a move to the mainland or elsewhere should not delay any longer.
    Someone commented to me this morning, that it did not appear that there was anyone viable who was going to challenge Caldwell and it does appear thus far to be the case.

  17. Crackers says:

    Captain Kirk is a lock; others need not apply.

  18. Alohaguy96734 says:

    The add is dumb, just like him.

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