Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Monday, May 20, 2024 82° Today's Paper

fl(ASH)backHawaii News

Lingle and Hannemann take their shows on the road

David Shapiro

Welcome to the new home of "flASHback," a tongue-in-cheek review of the week’s news.

Moving is always stressful, but as a smart politician once said after surviving a vote, "If you have a choice between dying today or dying tomorrow, choose tomorrow."

So on we go to the week’s news that amused and confused:

» The City Council selected former Police Chief Lee Donohue to fill the remaining months of Charles Djou’s term. When they asked him to step forward, he didn’t know whether he was supposed to take the oath or read Rod Tam his rights.

» The Council was overwhelmed by an enthusiastic crowd of 27 applicants for the job, which shouldn’t have been a surprise. In Hawaii we don’t get many chances to work in the circus.

» Council members said the main quality they were looking for was an ability to understand the $1.82 billion city budget immediately up for a vote. Donohue got there just in time to explain it to the others.

» Neil Abercrombie accused gubernatorial rivals Mufi Hannemann and James "Duke" Aiona of unfairly using public service spots to advance their campaigns. They said they’ll stop if he stops appearing in Travelocity commercials as the gnome.

» Aiona said that unlike his opponents, who are resigning their current jobs to run for governor, he’ll serve his full term as lieutenant governor. Why interrupt a good snooze?

» Hannemann took his "local values" campaign to Pittsburgh, where a fundraiser sponsored by a rail consultant asked for donations of up to $5,000 a head, which the mayor later said he wouldn’t accept. To follow the money, just listen for the train whistle.

» Gov. Linda Lingle drew big crowds at the opening of Hawaii Week in Shanghai with Hawaiian music and hula performances. I’m glad she found a venue where her song and dance still plays.

» Lingle signed a law to encourage colorectal exams by requiring health insurers to cover them. And I thought it was uncomfortable to have the government in my face.

» The Star-Advertiser made its for-real debut after first appearing as the name of a fictional newspaper in the original "Hawaii Five-0." In the updated "Five-0," the faux newspaper will be called The Daily Dinosaur.

» Police are looking for suspects who stole rapper Kanye West’s Porsche and crashed it near Diamond Head. A CrimeStoppers release promised, "We’ll catch the muthas, one way or anothas." I’d look for guys with Taylor Swift tattoos.

And the quote of the week … from state Rep. John Mizuno on the homeless problem: "There’s a lot of ideas, it’s just really hard to coordinate and make it go forward." Yeah, what do we expect from legislators, leadership or something?


David Shapiro can be reached at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.


Comments are closed.