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Hannemann and Manahan make good-sounding ticket

David Shapiro

I know we have enough Democratic candidates for lieutenant governor, but Wade Nobuhara noticed a sign for Rep. Joey Manahan off H-1 and saw a gubernatorial dream ticket: HANN-E-MAN-A-HAN.

"It would be the best-sounding campaign ticket in the history of Hawaii," Nobuhara said, imagining supporters’ chants "shaking the rafters."

Not to mention the savings on stationery. If Mufi Hannemann kept up the busy travel schedule he’s maintained as mayor and left the LG in charge a lot, business cards could say HanneManahan Administration on one side and ManaHannemann Administration on the other.

The LG race is a beauty contest in which the winner has about as much political power as a car show queen, so Nobuhara’s "syllabic palindrome" is as good a way as any to pick one.

On to the week’s real news that amused and confused:

» Councilwoman Ann Kobayashi said Hanne-mann broke the law by not informing the Council of his travel plans. His feelings were so hurt that he’s quitting his job Tuesday.

» Neil Abercrombie, the other Democratic candidate for governor, is hosting a campaign event where graffiti artists will spray-paint your shoes and other personal items. I hope they’re not warming up for Mufi’s trains.

» Speaking of which, the city defends its decision to put only one locked unisex restroom in each train station, saying it’s standard for transit systems. Did they consider it’s why so many subways SMELL LIKE SEWERS?

» City Council Chairman Todd Apo assured taxpayers that the city’s $1 billion sewage settlement won’t cost "immediate money right now." It’ll cost immediate money right after he’s term-limited out.

» The Council voted to keep talks alive on a proposed fireworks ban. In other words, the window remains open for lobbyists to make campaign donations.

» City officials are looking for a "test case" to try a never-used state law to force disturbed derelicts to take medication. If they’re looking close to home, I know a City Council member who would be perfect.

» A Board of Education committee voted to make it harder for students to graduate from high school. Didn’t we already do that when we made them come back to school on Fridays?

» An Aiea man was charged with extortion and theft for threatening to choke another man’s dog if he didn’t give him money. That’s a new one: "Your money or your woof."

And the quote of the week … from city Transportation Director Wayne Yoshioka on Councilman Ikaika Anderson’s concerns about raiding the general fund to pay for rail: "We’ll take that comment, and we’ll make sure that comment is noted and logged in." Translation if you don’t speak bureaucratese: "Yo’ momma."

David Shapiro can be reached at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.


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