Memorial events help grieving isle families
Max Neves wipes his eyes as he and his wife, Erica Neves, recount the events that led to the death of their son, Joshua, from an H1N1 infection.
It’s been a year and a half since their young son died, but the heartbreak is still raw for Max and Erica Neves, especially during the season of celebration.
"The holidays are tough, especially when everyone is happy buying gifts and the absence of the ones we can no longer buy gifts for is so prevalent in our lives," Erica Neves said.
"Oftentimes, people who love you and want to help don’t know what to say. … Pretty soon people don’t even want to bring up your child’s name. It’s like they never existed and it’s heartbreaking," she added.
"We made the decision to start a foundation in Joshua’s memory so that we can be a resource in helping other families going through what we are going through. It is a lonely road," said Erica Neves, vice president of the newly formed Joshua Neves Children’s Foundation; her husband is president.
 The St. Francis Hospice "Light Up a Memory" tree-lighting ceremonies, with entertainment at 5:30 p.m. and refreshments served, will be held:
» Friday, 6 p.m. at the Sister Maureen Keleher Center, 24 Puiwa Road in Nuuanu. Don't miss out on what's happening!Stay in touch with top news, as it happens, conveniently in your email inbox. It's FREE!
By clicking to sign up, you agree to Star-Advertiser's and Google's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This form is protected by reCAPTCHA.
The Joshua Neves Children’s Foundation will hold "Remembering — An Evening of Hope and Remembrance" at 6 p.m. Thursday at New Hope’s Lead Center at 290 Sand Island Access Road. |
Early next month the Neves Foundation and St. Francis Hospice are sponsoring events to comfort surviving family members and to commemorate the lives of the deceased. Donations are requested to help carry on the work of both organizations.
St. Francis has been holding its annual "Light Up a Memory" tree-lighting event since 1988, when the Sister Maureen Keleher Center in Nuuanu opened to provide compassionate care for patients facing the end of life and for their families, said coordinator Sallyanne Pekelo.
"We have about 1,200 people die a year. We want to make sure all family members get closure at the end of the year," she said. "They see staff and volunteers (who have cared for their loved ones), and they hug and cry. It’s very healing to see it."
They make stars of laminated cardboard, printed with the names of their loved ones, Pekelo said. The stars will be hung on several tall Douglas firs on the front lawns at St. Francis in Nuuanu on Friday, and its Ewa Beach hospice center on Dec. 10.
"I hang stars every year for my mother and grandmother, even though they weren’t in the program," as do many staff members; everyone is welcome to hang a star in remembrance, she added.
Requests for stars must be made in advance to St. Francis Hospice, c/o 2251 Mahalo St., Honolulu, HI 96817. Donations will go toward helping families with hospice care and bereavement services. For more information, call 547-8134.
The Neves Foundation was launched in August after 3-year-old Joshua Neves died on June 19, 2009, from complications related to the H1N1 flu virus. Tragedy struck again when Erica Neves, two months pregnant, miscarried on Christmas morning, she said.
Max and Erica Neves are members of New Hope Christian Fellowship, which is working in partnership to present "Remembering — An Evening of Hope and Remembrance" on Thursday. Families are asked to bring a photo ornament of their lost loved one to place on one of several Christmas trees onstage; parents will be prayed over by members of New Hope’s team.
Bereavement support will be offered by Kapiolani Medical Center for Women & Children and St. Francis Hospice.
As seating is limited, reservations are required for free tickets, available by e-mailing JNCFoundation@gmail.com. For more information, visit www.nevesfoundation.org.
