Pirating in hostile waters

In tonight’s episode, McGarrett needs help, and Danno will pay for it. Luckily, the Five-0 team has a lot of help in this episode. This was a hot episode with a few more local faces, a famous couple, and, of course, our fantastic four. Hooyah.

All week I’ve been humming a certain song as I waited in anticipation for a new episode of “Hawaii Five-0.” And no, it wasn’t a 98 Degrees tune, it was something more along the lines of: “Yo, ho, ho, ho, a pirate’s life for me.”

I know, it’s juvenile at best, but you can’t think of pirates without recalling Johnny Depp and his three pirate movies, the fourth having just wrapped filming in Hawaii months before “Hawaii Five-0” started shooting. So it seemed apropos that “Hawaii Five-0” would have another exciting episode for us aptly named “Powa ma ka moana,” which in Hawaiian means “pirate,” to be more specific, “robber of the ocean,” and the robbery, and the ocean, play a big part in the Five-0 Team’s investigation.

But the stars tonight, including the lovely Vanessa Minnillo as Susan and her handsome fiancé Nick Lachey, formerly of the aforementioned 98 Degrees, along with our local boys Taylor Wily, our favorite Kamekona, and Branscombe Richmond as Saloni, a helpful Tongan “robber,” did not disappoint.

It was also nice to see more local flavor in the smaller roles. Kale Chang, our resident Honolulu Boy Choir choral director, played the bad boy Big Lono, and while he looked very scary, I would have liked him to have flexed his pidgin vocals a little more. It was a bit disconcerting to have him speak such nice proper English as he refused to help McGarrett and Danno. Although I don’t think his nice language stopped McG from using his spare grenade to get him to talk. Ingenious interrogation technique, Steve. I’m sure Danno, that’s Mr. Sunshine to you, will remind you of your actions the next time you are bickering in the Camaro on a slow traffic day. Or perhaps while pushing Jack Lord’s beloved Mercury — now the late John McGarrett’s fixer-upper — up Tantalus (not the Pali as Danno says) on a 95-degree day. Well, maybe 85 degrees with humidity that makes it feel 98 degrees. Thank you, I’ll be here all night.

Branscombe Richmond was terrific as a Tongan Robin Hood. He’s a robber with a heart of gold. And someone’s watch of gold, too. Only steals from the rich, is his motto. Good thing his heart was in helping the Five-0 team find out who killed his cousin and clearing his band of Tongan brothers from any serious wrongdoing. Robbing is one thing, kidnapping and murder completely another kind of crime, according to the code of thieves. Perhaps Jack Sparrow did teach us a thing or two about real pirating.

On a lighter note, Kono got a sweet Valentine in the episode from flirty Moku the Bartender, played by local boy Cody Gomes. I’m so glad he did not call Chin Ho Kono’s Daddy, but nothing flusters Chin Ho, except being called a thief. Perhaps Moku was really just trying to get Kono’s number, and what young hot bartender worth his salt wouldn’t try and get Kono’s number? I’m sure many of you are raising your hands as you read this. Stand in line behind Moku, bruddahs.

Dennis Chun again played our faithful Sgt. Duke Lukela and added more to the local lineup for the episode. It was also great to see some of the extras in the background in military uniforms, especially during the scenes where Kamekona was jogging in his plastic bag near the Hale Koa Hotel. It was a change of pace to see more than just hot girls in bikinis on the beach, as the area near Fort DeRussy and the Hale Koa often have our servicemen and women walking around. But I’m sure the hot girls will be back in future episodes, I would bank my sand dollars on it.

But the true robber of the evening was Nick Lachey. Did you see our singing cutie as a robber of the ocean? Sure, call him a thief of hearts, a Pirate of Penzance even, but a kidnapper and a murderer? Thank God, I found you out Mr. Lachey. Perhaps halfway through the episode, but still, because of you, this episode was triple banana fantastic.

And Kono, it feels good to get hugged and thanked after you’ve done a good job, doesn’t it? Nice to see our often-battered rookie get a hug instead of a punch. There were a few tears this time, especially when we see the kids who were stolen from the ocean reunited with their parents. Thankfully, the Five-0 team again thwarts the robbers, and makes our Valentine’s Day end on a high note.

Redux side note: I’m hoping perhaps in a future episode to see a wrestling match between Kamekona and perhaps a semi-reluctant Danno? Some of you may already know that Taylor Wily was once a sumo wrestler who competed under the name Takamishu. I know I am not alone when I say I’d like to see Danno in a mawashi. Bring it, Mr. Sunshine.

———

Wendie Burbridge is a published writer, playwright and a teacher of literature and fiction writing at Kamehameha Schools-Kapalama