Want to be happy in old age? Shut off the TV, get out of the house, Inquirer readers advise

PHILADELPHIA >> Joyce Abramson Sherman, 97, was among the first to send an email after she read a recent Philadelphia Inquirer story about how resilient seniors thrive after losing many friends and family members.

But she was just the first. Many readers shared their tips.

“My address book has more Xs than addresses,” wrote Sherman, a retired nurse who served in the Army during World War II.

She said it was tough to give up the car keys, but she still participates in a veterans and senior group.

Her advice: “I try to remember only the good times, not the bad. I always have a goal to make. When that is reached, I make a new one. …. Keep active. Watch Jeopardy, read, do handiwork and try to go on more social engagements than doctor (appointments).”

Stephen Seplow, 77, read the story before attending a funeral — his third for friends in six weeks. On the same weekend, though, he’d seen his grandson, an aspiring actor who is in high school, in a play that he co-wrote and directed.

“You just can’t have one without the other,” Seplow wrote.

Estelle Benson, 88, said she has stayed exceptionally active since her husband’s death six years ago. Founder of the Guillain-Barre Syndrome Foundation, she still works in the office every day, travels and maintains a busy social life.

“Working is therapy,” she wrote. “Being with young people is the best. I get involved with their way of life and at the same time share my ‘old age’ wisdom with them! It saddens me to see so many of my contemporaries shut down and become a victim of circumstances, not a survivor.”

Kathleen Valle, 79, has a wonderful time with a group of friends from kindergarten through high school. They’re all 78 or 79 now.

Four of the original dozen have died “after terrible illnesses.” Another is disabled.

Those who are still standing, meet monthly to eat out and even traveled to Florida to be with the “traitor” who retired out of state. Originally, they met in each others’ houses for dinner.

As they aged, they switched to lunch. Then they started eating in restaurants.

“Because we are so close, it is like whatever happens to one of us, happens to all of us. We are always there to comfort each other,” Valle wrote.

“Our advice to seniors is that you just have to stay close to your family and friends and to keep busy. We don’t dwell on the things from the past that we can’t change ‘cause that only makes things worse. We live for today and look forward to tomorrow.”

An online commenter named Nostromo talked about passing knowledge on: “When one becomes the last person who can name those folks in old, faded photographs, there comes a pause for weighty reflection.

“Throughout my life I gleaned information as I could from my loved ones, and still I realize just what a wealth of knowledge now lies just outside knowing. I impart as much as I can to my daughter, younger brothers, and stepson in hopes that some seeds will sprout and take hold.”

Another commenter recommended hobbies as a way to build new relationships. “Watching TV as a hobby isn’t a good alternative,” he wrote.