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Column: Give yourself the gift of you — you are worth it

You have so much you want to do and limited time to do it. You have people to call back, emails to respond to, work to attend to, family to take care of and friends who need you. In addition, you have shopping lists and projects you want to complete. Do you ever feel as if there is not enough of you to go around?

If you are overextending yourself, and doing things that are not in line with your true heart’s desire, over time you will build resentment and further lose touch with yourself. This week make it a point to tune into yourself, listen to your inner voice of truth, and give yourself the gift of “you.”

Here are some gifts you can give yourself:

>> Hide out: Put your phone on silent, and give yourself permission to take an hour or a day for yourself, doing what you want to do.

If your mindset has been focused on satisfying everyone else’s needs, you might ask yourself if their expectations have expanded beyond reasonable.

>> Strengthen your “so what” attitude: Sounds uncaring, but if you are the type that tends to be there for everyone (at your expense and loss of precious life force), take an extra moment to tune in to whether or not this person really needs your attention. So what if small stuff happened in their life.

Their need to engage with you will pass if you let it, and you will have saved some valuable time. Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is a bit of insensitivity.

>> Say no to the octopus people: You know who they are — the ones who have a lot of tentacles of emotional clinginess.

They are great at putting the guilt trip on you and making you feel obligated to help them out or listen to them. If there is an uneven exchange of energy, even if it’s a family member or close friend, it’s time to untwine a bit, and limit the time you spend on your low-yield relationships.

>> Memorize some handy lines: The more overwhelmed you are, the worse you are at setting boundaries. Have a few “lines” in your mind ready to say when difficult people approach you for help. This will help you conserve your energy when requests inevitably come your way.

Come up with a few getaway lines that you can rely on during periods when you are overwhelmed. Try something like: “Gosh! This isn’t a good time. Let’s talk later.”

Just do it

If you are an over-giver, it may feel impossible to change your ways with the people that drain you because of your empathic nature. However, with intent, focus and a plan, you can do it.

Give yourself the gift of you. It’s the best investment of your time and energy, especially when you are feeling drained by those who are not valuing your sacrifices.


Alice is the founder of Happiness U. Visit YourHappinessU.com.


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