Amy Chua’s "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" has generated significant public interest and debate on cross-cultural parenting. In this paper, John Rosemond devoted his Jan. 22 column to criticizing Chua’s parenting methods ("Fanatical Chinese mom seems foccused on her ego"). As a student of cross-cultural differences in human behavior, including parenting, I am writing not to endorse Chua. Instead, I wish to offer a more-appropriate cultural lens (Chinese, not European, American) to her weltanschauung, with the caveat that culture alone does not fully explain any behavior and significant individual differences exist within any cultural group.

In the field of cross-cultural psychology, normality and desirability are understood to be largely culturally defined. This is certainly true when it comes to parenting.

When Rosemond suggests that Chua is "focused on her ego," he may be right, but not in the way he intended. In the field of psychology, "ego" is another term for the self and its meaning varies cross-culturally. In individualistic cultures, such as the predominant European-American middle class, it is defined by one’s uniqueness. A major developmental milestone is the psychological separation and individuation from the family of origin during adolescence. Competent European-American adults no longer rely on their parents, and seek significant relationships elsewhere.

In contrast, in collectivistic Asian cultures, the self is interdependent and informed foremost by relationships with family members. For instance, children are referred to as their parents’ "heart and liver" treasure. This profound interconnection is often difficult for Westerners to appreciate. Assuming responsibility for the welfare of parents is a hallmark of maturity. In this context, Chua’s depreciating her child as "garbage" is also a self-criticism.

With regard to achievement, research shows that European-Americans accord greater importance to innately endowed talent while Asian-Americans embrace effort as the primary determinant. It is rumored that Yo-Yo Ma’s father forced him to practice playing the cello for hours on end in Paris over the child’s protestations. This is consistent with the Confucian teaching that young children must be molded. In this process, the Chinese view is "the more you love, the more you scold." This is quite antithetical to the use of praise that European-Americans associate with positive/good parenting.

Rosemond criticizes Chua’s definition of success as too material, externally defined. Achievement, in particular academic ones, often leads to economic security. Many immigrant parents have experienced profound post-migration survival challenges. They hold very high expectations for their children partly because they want to spare them the struggles and pain they themselves have endured. In light of significant discrimination that Chinese-Americans have historically suffered in this country and continue to face today, their desire for their children’s material/visible success is understandable.

However, the appropriateness of cultural practices is largely contextually determined. While calling a child "garbage" may cause no harm in an environment where the child understands its true intent, it may be quite harmful when the child is expecting to be told that she is loved in spite of her failures, as is the practice in the predominant middle class European- American culture. Due to greater exposure, children of immigrants embrace European-American culture more avidly than their parents. Children of immigrant parents often question their traditional teaching methods, and intergenerational/ intercultural conflict is common in immigrant families, particularly during late adolescence. Not surprisingly, this is accompanied by significant negative consequences for both.

Although Chua is not an immigrant herself, her parenting methods may have been passed down intergenerationally, which is not uncommon in second-generation Chinese-Americans.

Intercultural misunderstanding may occur within immigrant families and across cultural groups. With the rapid diversification of our nation and previously unimagined globalization, making an effort to understand and respect different worldviews is crucial to our survival and prosperity.

Instead of resorting to quick judgment, taking time to reflect and examine our own assumptions and beliefs, and informing ourselves of other cultural perspectives garner the innumerable benefits of living in a multicultural society and world.

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Yu-Wen Ying, of Honolulu, is professor emeritus of the School of Social Welfare, University of California, Berkeley.